The Incident with the Blond
by An Eccentric Caffeine Addict
Summary: He had lost everything and then suddenly Roxas found it all. His friends, his life, his happiness. He couldn't thank Axel enough. [Slash: AxelRoxas, ZexionDemyx, AU]
1. Those Lost Things: i Meet the Blond

**Summary:** _He had lost everything and then suddenly Roxas found it all. His friends, his life, his happiness. He couldn't thank Axel enough._

Roxas's parents died while he was eleven and he moved in with his relatives.His Aunt and Uncle are wonderful but his cousin is another story. His only escape? To go to a University away from his home. Once in this new city, Roxas meets four new people and he finds the friends he had always wanted. Life seems to be good again and after four years of being ignored Roxas finds that one, beautiful red-head seems to dote on him a lot.

**Pairings: **AxelxRoxas & ZexionxDemyx.

**Warnings:** Alternative Universe, Slash, Language, Sex (Oral & Anal), Rape, Violence & Ridiculous Amounts of Angst.

**Author's Notes: **...This is my attempt at NaNoWriMo. It's at approx. 10 000 words right now and I'm hoping I continue to write with such fever. It's a wonderful feeling, having 10 000 words done in the first three days. Delightful! Anyways, this pretty much means all my other fics will be on a one month hiatus as I NEED to write 50 000 words for this fic before I stop. I wish to finish it. But I'm pretty sure it's not going to end with just 50 000 words...so maybe 100 000? We'll see.

Anyways, the format for this fic is a bit different. I plan to split the fic into parts rather than chapters. Each part will have parts within it that you can treat like chapters. I'm going to post each of these sub-parts as chapters. I'll be posting three sub-parts every time I update. The amount of words that goes into each sub-part differs completely on what I'm trying to convey in the sub-part so don't expect a set amount of words in each sub-part. Thanks.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to _Kingdom Hearts_. It belongs to Square Enix and the Walt Disney Company. I'm simply trying to write 50 000 words for NaNo.

--

**The Incident with the Blond**

_Those Lost Things_

in which we:

meet the blond – learn of guests – see the dancing – hear the laughter – dream of friends – find the first link in the chain – smile – watch rain – eat ice-cream

--

i. Meet the Blond

Sometimes when Roxas sat in the park by himself he would almost be able picture himself, a few years younger, laughing it up with his friends. But they'd parted; his friends and him and now he'd spent almost four years in a high school without any of them. He'd lost them, in other words. Lost touch, lost contact, whatever anyone wanted to label it with.

They were gone and he had almost finished high school, living through every day somehow. He'd never realised how horrible loneliness was. He'd forgotten it some time ago, when his relatives had so happily taken him in after his parents had passed away.

But everyone seemed to get sick of Roxas. And Roxas had no clue as to why. His friends ditched him because they thought he thought he was better than them and his cousin had turned out to be a lot more trouble then he had wanted. Things just happened and Roxas couldn't stop them.

Maybe it was the helpless feeling he got sometimes. It forced him to look at himself and pick out his flaws. His best flaws and then he'd start hating himself for those flaws. But wasn't it ridiculous? So Roxas tried to ignore those flaws instead, focusing on his drawings, forgetting about his ex-friends, his cousin, his parents…

The world seemed kinder that way and Roxas felt less breakable.

Or maybe it was the fact that Roxas really couldn't get over things quickly. He had such a horrible habit of clinging to people and somehow he managed to cling without them noticing until one day it would dawn on them. And things usually fell apart after that.

He wasn't, rather he didn't, want to hold on to people and things and _nouns_ like that but really, personality was personality and it was a hard thing to change. He didn't give a fuck about what those stupid books said; it was _hard_ to change.

So Oprah and Dr. Phil could go to hell. They had no idea what they were babbling about. No fucking idea.

That's why boyfriends were a no go and friends just didn't happen any more. He liked to think he didn't care but who was he kidding? Certainly not himself.

That was another problem. Roxas was too fucking perceptive for his own fucking good. And that always landed him in trouble. With the people around him. Especially since most of those people around him were around his age and were walking, talking, _breathing_ stereotypes who _loved_ to think themselves _all that_. But that was high school for you.

He also liked to think that he was getting along just fine. Except that when he tried to sleep at night he found his cousin crawling in with him and he felt cold hands sliding all over his body. And when he got to school the morning of, every single person would walk past him as if he didn't exist.

Maybe he was in a bit of a pickle. Just maybe.

But Roxas had always liked pickles. So maybe it wasn't a pickle but rather another fruit…or were pickles vegetables...?

He had never really liked pears. So pears it was. He was stuck in a bit of a pear.

A really long, hard, utterly gross…pear.

But that's life for you.

--

Roxas's eyes skimmed over the sketch, and his heart sank. It wasn't good at all. He had never seen such a horrid sketch come out of the tip of one of his pencils. He ripped the page right out of the book, throwing it off to the side. It landed without a sound and Roxas tried again, not noticing that he'd made a small pile of balled up paper on the ground. Apparently every picture was horrid.

Roxas had never found it so hard to sketch a vase before but somehow that one petal on that one yellow tulip was just being anal with him. Roxas almost believed that some force of nature was fucking with him and altering where the petal was every two seconds so that every time Roxas finished the sketch it didn't look right.

The urge to shove the vase off of the table and walk away was strong in the front of his mind but Roxas pushed it back just a little, enough to get him sketching again. It was sitting right behind the thought that was saying, _a little to the right, yes, right there. Make the line there._

Which really meant that Roxas would have that vase lying on the ground, shattered into tiny little pieces in a few minutes if his sketch turned out just as awful as the last few. (By last few he really meant eighteen.)

Roxas had never noticed how quickly his hand moved across a page when he was concentrating and he was suddenly seeing it. The flick in his wrist, the movement of his hand up and down, right to left across the page, the small amount of pressure he exerted on his pencil as he drew. It was positively enchanting.

Roxas couldn't help the little smile that formed on his lips, loving the feeling of the paper underneath the edge of his right hand. Loving the feeling of being in_control_.

He didn't get to feel that a hell of a lot lately, not since high school had started. But it didn't matter. He still had art. And it worked out just fine, sketching, painting, drawing his time away. Because when he saw a finished painting, colour filling every corner of the canvas Roxas felt the accomplishment rise into his throat and sit there, leaving him utterly speechless.

He always felt awed by the end, always wondering how the hell he had put something 3D onto something 2D. It was a strange feeling and he loved it. In fact it was because of that feeling that Roxas would never stop until he reached perfection. Because life was good when there was a pencil in his hand.

He glanced up at the vase, quickly adding on the little features, the sketch looking nothing like the vase but more a blur of lines and grey. Except that Roxas could see the vase in the curve of the line, in the lighter shade of grey from the left where the light shone down on the actual vase. He could see it. The tulips at the top, toppling out of the vase, with only a few more days to live.

Sucked to be flowers though, especially the really nice ones. They got picked, stuck in water and were left to be admired but they would eventually die. It was like they were being murdered.

Roxas looked at his sketch eyes staring at the petal of the tulip he was having trouble with; he looked back at the vase and back down. It was perfect. It was finally perfect. All the shades and the shapes and the lines. They were all perfect. Roxas smiled softly to himself, closing his sketchbook and shoving it into his messenger bag. He stuffed his pencil and eraser into his jean's pocket and swung the strap of his bag over his shoulder. Giving the vase a final look Roxas headed for the door, sweeping down to pick up his mess of forgotten papers. He threw the papers into the recycling bin and walked out of the empty classroom. Lunch was always nice in the art's classroom.

There was no one there ignoring him.

--

His feet padded down the hallway of the empty house. He liked it when he was alone in the house, with no relatives to be wary of. He loved his relatives — don't get him wrong—but his cousin. He couldn't survive in the house with his cousin. Which was why he worked at the small bookshop at the corner of Howler Street and Davidson Lane; it was the perfect excuse to come home late.

Besides, he liked the bookshop. The owner was kind and was possibly the closet thing Roxas had to a friend. His conversations with Laxaeus, the owner, were always amusing and they were partially the reason why Roxas hadn't given up on life altogether. He would smack himself mentally whenever he thought that he was worthless. If there was one thing he _did_ know, it was that thinking little of himself wasn't going to get him anywhere.

Self-hatred was a no-no. And a rather large waste of time.

It had been more an issue when he was younger. Rather when he was going through high school all by himself without any of his friends. He was almost out of the house. Almost. He'd been accepted at the University of Twilight and was planning to live on campus, away from his cousin. Who, thankfully, was going of to some university on Destiny Island itself and Roxas didn't need to worry.

He didn't need to go to bed hoping his cousin wouldn't crawl in afterward so he could enjoy himself.

It hadn't been such a problem _until_ high school. Then Roxas didn't know what happened but Will just went crazy and something obviously snapped and suddenly Roxas was the only way to get the frustration out. Or at least Roxas's body.

Which Roxas found to be disgusting.

He'd get over it though. Eventually. He'd try to erase it from his memories, like he had his parents and friends. Maybe it would be easier once he was gone.

He'd miss Laxaeus but Roxas had this small hope somewhere deep down that University would be a new start. University would be his big break and he'd get to meet a few people. A few people he could possibly call friends.

That's all he really wanted. Nothing more. And he promised he'd try and give them as much room as possible. He'd try. He'd try his very hardest.

--

**Author's Notes:** ...Review?


	2. Those Lost Things: ii The Guests

**Warnings:** **Rape!**

**Author's Notes: **The rape is in this chapter. Read with caution.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to _Kingdom Hearts_. It belongs to Square Enix and the Walt Disney Company. I'm simply trying to write 50 000 words for NaNo.

--

**The Incident with the Blond**

_Those Lost Things_

in which we:

meet the blond – learn of guests – see the dancing – hear the laughter – dream of friends – find the first link in the chain – smile – watch rain – eat ice-cream

--

ii. The Guests

"Roxas Hatashi, Honour's Graduate, going to the University of Twilight for a Major in Visual Arts," his principal announced, a massive smile on his face. Roxas walked across the stage, shook hands with his principal, posed for his Aunt who had the biggest smile he'd ever seen on her pretty features so she could take a picture and took his diploma from the principal's hand. He felt a thrill explode all over his body as he accepted it, a grin breaking out on his face.

This was it. The piece of paper in his _fucking_ hands. This was how he was getting out.

He walked off the stage, the weird black poncho like dress they had made him wear floating behind him. He really didn't see how it was supposed to make him feel special. The teacher's had called it a "robe" but as far as Roxas could tell, it was more an oversized poncho. All the robes he'd ever seen (mainly in pictures) didn't look like what he was wearing.

He sat back down in the chair he had been in before being called upon the stage. Earlier he had received an award for his art skills. Apparently he was the best Traverse Academy had to offer, arts wise. He had always thought there were other talented artists at his school but he was happy nonetheless. He was so excited about having won the award the idea never crossing his mind until he had actually gotten up to the stage after his art's teacher had called upon him.

It had been the strangest thing. Winning the award. Feeling the intense happiness form in the pit of his stomach. Lovely.

The night carried on, and before he knew it he was standing with his relatives, his Aunt's smile was massive and his Uncle had a proud expression on his features. Will was smirking at him but Roxas just didn't look at him. It was pointless, right? He'd only feel afraid.

"Oh Roxas!" his Aunt cried, giving him another hug. He wasn't sure at all how many he had received so far or how many more he would get over the course of the night. He smiled at his Aunt as she let go of him. "I'm_ so_ proud of you!"

"Thanks," Roxas said shyly, looking down at his shoes. His Aunt made him feel all bubbly on the inside. She was inspirational. Roxas often wondered how she had gotten stuck with a son like Will.

"_We're_ so proud of you Rox, you're going to do so well at Twilight!" his Uncle beamed, clapping him on the back. Roxas stumbled forward, almost hitting Will who was giving him the most discreet smirk. "You too Will. Off to U of D. You two make us proud!"

"Thanks Dad," Will smiled, "And congards on the award _Roxas_."

"Th-thank-you," Roxas spluttered, looking anywhere but at Will. His Aunt moved from behind him and gave Will a hug.

"Sweety, thank-you," she whispered. She was thanking him for having picked up the slack this last year. Will had always been smart, he just had anger issues. And he partied like an animal.

"No, I'm the one who should be thanking-you Mum, for always believing in me," Will replied. Roxas could see the fake smile on his face. He knew for a fact that Will wasn't the biggest fan of his parents. Another disgusting quality. They were always trying so hard for him. He didn't deserve them.

His Aunt said something incoherent and Roxas began to walk toward the door that led out of the hall of Destiny Academy. His Uncle was right on his heels, humming some tune softly under his breath. Roxas smiled. It was a pleasant hum, but really Roxas just adored his relatives.

--

He shuffled underneath his covers, relishing the warmth. Roxas had just taken a shower and the dash from his bathroom to his bed had sent goosebumps running up and down his arms. Along with a good shiver up his spine. He snuggled into the covers, mind wandering. He would be away from Will soon. Just a few more nights and it would be over. The nightmare he had lived through for four years.

But he knew that Will wasn't going to let him live just yet. Not until he was out of the house away from him, out of his reach. As if on cue, Roxas heard his door open. A shaft of light from the hallway broke through the dark of his room, momentarily illuminating Roxas's desk.

The light disappeared as quickly as it had come and Roxas heard Will's footsteps as they got to his bed. He swallowed not wanting to move. His body had stiffened like it always did and he felt the covers being ripped off of him and Will flopped down onto the bed.

"Hey _Roxy_," he whispered into his ear. Roxas closed his eyes. The goosebumps on his arms multiplied and he felt his throat close up. Just like it always did. A hand trailed down his chest, resting right underneath his belly button.

"Mum was _so_ proud of you, eh? Wasn't she? And so was Dad, because you're just the _sweetest_ little boy ever!" Will said, his voice mocking Roxas. "But you know you're just a stupid little dipshit, right? Right _Roxy_?"

Roxas could hear the malice, the hatred and he really wanted to call out for his Aunt but the words weren't going to come out of his mouth. They never did. He couldn't break his Aunt's heart. He refused to be responsible for that. It was just a little bit longer. So he nodded his head slightly to appease Will.

Will chuckled, and he placed himself so that he had a hand on either side of Roxas's face and so that he had Roxas's legs between his. Roxas knew because he could feel the pressure around him on the bed but he refused to open his eyes, too scared.

"Look at me, you fucking runt," Will hissed. Roxas couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. He felt something dig into his arm. He felt a jolt of pain and his eyes shot open. His eyes moved to where the pain was coming from and found a knife digging into his skin, blood seeping down from the hole Will was making. Roxas clenched his jaw; he didn't want to start crying until _after_ Will had left.

"Being a good boy again?" Will sneered, and Roxas saw a crazy glint in his eyes. Suddenly he felt his arm seer in pain and his eyes squeezed shut. Will was dragging the knife down to his wrist where he finally stopped but his arm throbbed.

_Fuckfuckfuck!_ Roxas's mind screamed. It hurt like hell but his voice, like usual, was betraying him.

"Fucking bitch," Will growled, "'I'm _so_ proud of you _Roxas_!'" He was imitating his mother and Roxas heard the jealousy. That's what it was tonight. Jealousy. That's why there was blood. Not just the smell of semen. "I hate you!" Will spat at Roxas's face and Roxas just willed himself to not move, to let his arm lie beside his body, bleeding.

He felt Will's lips brush over his own roughly, biting down on his bottom lip, hard, until Roxas could taste blood in his mouth. He shoved his tongue inside, hands pulling down on Roxas's pyjamas. A cold hand touched his cock and he felt a finger slide into his hole. Will started to push it in and out and before long he felt Will push his own cock inside, lips now sliding down Roxas's neck.

Roxas felt Will thrust into him, pain shooting up his spine. His rectum was starting to hurt and he could feel tears welling up at the edges of his eyes. "That's right, you fucking _pansy,_ cry!" Will spat and Roxas felt a hand roughly glide up his stomach to his left nipple. He felt the nipple being pulled and it hurt, but Will didn't care.

Roxas's feelings didn't matter.

The thrusting increased and with each thrust into him Roxas whimpered, stifling his cries of pain. Will hated it when Roxas made noise. He could hear Will panting, enjoying himself. Roxas didn't move. His legs were up in the air as Will pounded into him, never stopping, never slowing down.

Then Will gasped and Roxas closed his eyes tightly, feeling Will cum right into him, the sperm shooting up his rectum. "Hah, you…you little…fucking…I'm going to…to make you regret…coming here." But it had never been Roxas's choice in the first place.

Will didn't take himself out; instead he leaned down and took Roxas's nipple into his mouth. He briefly sucked on it and then bit down. Roxas muffled a cry, the arm that wasn't bleeding clasping over his mouth. Will repeated the biting a few more times and his thrusting started a second time. Roxas kept his eyes closed.

It would end. It would all end. Just a few more days. _A few more days_, Roxas told himself.

--

"Roxas you're wearing a _hoodie_ in _this_ weather? Are you insane?!" Laxaeus laughed. Roxas shrugged. He'd worn hoodies before. He had to, if he wanted to hide the fresh cuts Will had made the night before. Of course, his arm was currently bandaged up so it looked even more obvious.

What was he going to say if someone asked him, "What's wrong with your arm Roxas?" Of course the someones consisted of his Aunt, his Uncle and Laxaeus. He couldn't think of anything that would have landed him with a gash from the bending joint of his arm to his wrist.

"I'm kind of cold," Roxas mumbled, currently shelving books onto the wooden oak shelves of the shop. Every time he used his right arm to pick up a book the muscles ached and Roxas had to do everything in his willpower to make sure he didn't cry out or shake or — God forbid — drop the book.

"Cold?! It's 39 degrees Celsius Roxas! How could you be cold?" Laxaeus exclaimed, incredulous.

"I dunno," Roxas answered back as he placed another book at the very top of the shelf. He was standing on a ladder to do so of course because otherwise he couldn't reach. It made him feel rather short; standing on the ladder…Laxaeus could easily reach the top shelf from the floor.

"You're a crazy little kid Roxas," Laxaeus laughed as he walked back to the front desk. Roxas shrugged off the words, focusing on getting as many books on the top most shelf before his arm wouldn't go up any more.

Roxas enjoyed work, it was always easy and he could spend time afterwards finding a few books to read for himself. Laxaeus always laughed at how his best customer was his best employee. Roxas usually blushed after that, he always liked hearing that he was the best employee, which made him wonder who the other employees were. He'd never, in the four years he had worked here, seen anyone but himself and Laxaeus at the shop. He thought about asking Laxaeus but Roxas wasn't one to stick his nose in business that wasn't his so he never did. It didn't seem like he had any reason to ask who else Laxaeus was employing.

His shift was going to end in about half an hour and then he'd have to walk back home right away because his Aunt and Uncle had asked him to come back right away. Something about meeting a friend of their's and his family. It sounded pleasant but Will would be there and that would just be as uncomfortable as hell. Or, if Roxas was lucky, Will would be off at some party getting wasted.

He glanced at the clock at the wall nearest him, twenty-five after six. His shift was about to end. He sighed, as he climbed down the stairs and placed a few remaining books on the proper shelves, between the right books. Laxaeus hated disorganized shelves.

"Roxas?" he heard Laxaeus call. Roxas twirled his head around to find his boss at the front of the aisle he was working in.

"Yeah?" Roxas answered, picking up a book off of the cart beside him. _Coffee & Milk_, the title read. It was probably some trashy romance with a desperate wife and a dashing new neighbour who would sweep her away. His face twisted into a frown and he shoved the book into the shelf.

"Get going, your Aunt called, said she wanted you home as soon as possible. Sounded like it was important so get going, five minutes is nothing," Laxaeus yawned.

"Yeah, sure," Roxas murmured, hands grasping the handle of the cart.

"Leave that there, Lucian'll finish up for you," Laxaeus said, already walking back to his counter.

_Lucian…_Roxas rolled the name over in his mind. No face came to mind so he was probably not going to Destiny High. Or maybe he was just a young guy that Roxas hadn't heard of. Not like he knew every fucking person in his high school.

Leaving the cart behind, Roxas headed in the same direction as Laxaeus. He waved goodbye to Laxaeus and walked out the shop. The wind chimes bumped together as he opened the door, sending off a tinkling sound in the air. Roxas liked the tinkling sound, it was nice.

--

In fifteen minutes he was standing outside his relative's house, staring at the bright red door. He extended a hand forward and rang the bell. The minute his hand dropped the door flew open and there stood his Aunt dressed in one of her Sunday Church special dresses. The ones she only wore on Christmas or Easter. She looked beautiful.

"Roxas! I was so scared you would get _after_ the guests! Come in, go get dressed. I already pulled out your dress shirt and pants. If you need help with the tie, ask your Uncle, 'kay?" she rambled, pulling him in and closing the door.

"Okay," Roxas answered, heading for the stairs. His eyes landed on Will, who was walking down the steps in a light blue shirt with a darker blue tie. He wore black pants and was currently trying to button his cuffs. There was a nasty scowl on his face.

Roxas felt his throat tighten as he started to climb the steps. Will glared at him and Roxas swallowed, hard. He felt his arm brush against Will's but Will didn't say anything so Roxas quickened his steps and got to his room.

There he quickly changed into the dark green shirt and black pants his Aunt had set for him. There was a white tie with green stripes running down it sitting on his dresser. He stared at it, momentarily forgetting how to tie a tie. It took him five minutes of struggling to remember and another two to finally get the tie around his neck.

Once he was dressed he pushed a comb through his messy blond locks and quickly ran down the stairs. Just as he reached the bottom the bell rang. Roxas stopped in his dash to the kitchen and eyes wide he couldn't think where he should go. His Aunt rushed to the door and swung it open. In the doorstep stood a handsome jet-black haired man and an equally beautiful blonde was right beside him. Roxas couldn't see if this family had any offspring as he couldn't see a third face.

"Elena!" his Aunt cried throwing her arms around the blonde. Roxas glanced at the entrance to the living room. His Uncle was standing there with Will right behind him. Roxas decided he preferred standing where he was, even if he looked odd with the panicked look on his face.

"Hi Arielle!" the blonde, namely Elena, smiled, hugging his Aunt back.

"Tseng," his Uncle nodded, a gentle smile on his face. "Let them come in Arielle." He laughed softly, and Arielle blushed stepping out of the doorway.

"Hey Liam," the man with the long black hair smiled. He stepped inside, his wife following. Roxas felt his stomach flip. He always got nervous around people his Aunt and Uncle invited over. He didn't want to embarrass them.

That's when Roxas noticed another face. It was a girl; she was about his height and dressed in a delicate looking white dress. Blonde locks like her mother fell onto her shoulders and big blue eyes looked hesitant as they stepped inside.

"This must be Naminé!" Arielle smiled, wrapping the girl up in her arms. The girl blushed bright red, and mumbled out a meek 'hello.' Roxas sighed. This was good. He could deal with a girl who was just as shy as he was.

"And is that Will?" Elena asked, giving Will a smile. She was wearing a summer dress, a light shade of pink with swirls of black print. Tseng stood in a dark blue suit. Roxas smiled meekly as the man looked at him, and he smiled softly.

"Roxas, right?"

Roxas nodded his head in response. Elena looked in the direction of her husband's gaze and looked at him too. Her eyes softened and she smiled. Roxas gave a small wave, feeling a blush form on his cheeks.

"Oh, let me get your coats!" Arielle exclaimed, frantically opening the closet door and reaching out for Tseng to offer his suit jacket. He slipped it off and gave it to Roxas's Aunt, whispering a "Thank-you."

"Roxas could you go set up the dinner table and Will bring the wine," his Aunt ordered, placing Tseng's coat on a hanger and into the closet.

Roxas immediately headed off toward the dining room, happy to have gotten away from the guests. He opened the hutch and took out the china plates that his Aunt reserved for special occasions. He began to place them out on the table. There were exactly seven people which working out nicely as that was one less than the amount of seats they had. He placed a plate at seven place mats and began to place the forks, knives and spoons around the plates.

Taking out the crystal wine glasses, Roxas placed one with every plate and look over his work. It looked neat and tidy. Just the way he liked it.

Then he felt a hand glide from his side to his stomach and he felt himself hit someone behind him. Obviously it was Will. Roxas felt his usual sense of heightened fear when Will was near him and he went stiff as Will leaned down and rested his chin on Roxas's shoulder. "The wine, _Roxy_."

Roxas saw his other hand place a bottle of wine on the table but he didn't let go. "Arm still hurt?"

Roxas didn't answer; Will just wanted to get off on his pain. "Not gonna answer me huh? Well I'll just have to do something about that." He bit down of the lobe of Roxas's ear before walking off. Roxas waited until he couldn't hear Will's footsteps any more and slouched his shoulders down, sighing.

He grabbed the bottle of wine with a shaking hand and placed it near the front of the table. His Uncle would be the one pouring it.

--

The night passed away with Roxas hardly saying a word. His Aunt and Uncle seemed to be good friends of the guests and they spent most of the evening laughing with them. Their daughter Naminé had sat just as quietly as Roxas, pushing her mashed potatoes back and forth. Roxas didn't feel like eating, his mind wandering back to what Will had said every thirty seconds.

"So, Roxas, you're an artist right?" Roxas's head snapped up from his plate and he saw that Elena was giving him an expectant look.

"Ye-yes," Roxas stuttered, blinking quickly. His palms were getting sweaty.

Elena smiled, "Naminé's an artist too. She likes to sketch. Actually, she's going to the University of Twilight to do a Major in History and Theory of Art."

"Really?!" Arielle exclaimed; eyes wide and a beautiful smile on her face, "Roxas is going there too, for a Major in Visual Arts!"

Tseng chuckled, "So he'll be at the University with Naminé. Is he staring on campus?"

"Well, he applied but we've yet to get a reply back," Liam answered, sipping on some wine. Roxas felt uncomfortable as they talked about him. But the thought of Naminé going to the same University was somewhat reassuring. Maybe he could befriend her…It would be pleasant to have a friend again.

"Oh, I say you just forget about it Roxas, you could probably live with Naminé and Demyx. They both got a hold of an apartment," Elena smiled, her face bright as she looked at Roxas.

"Demyx?" Arielle asked, "where is he? I completely forgot about him." She gave a small laugh, white teeth almost glowing in the light from the chandelier above.

"Hmm, we're sorry he couldn't make it. He plays guitar in a band with his friends and they got this chance to perform at one of his favourite clubs, so we let him go," Tseng explained, sounding completely apologetic. Roxas couldn't help but admire his and his family's sincerity.

"Oh that's alright! Naminé's here!" Arielle smiled, waving the matter off. "He's a year older than Naminé right…? Or was it two?"

"Two. He's entering his graduate year at Twilight this year," Tseng answered, patting his mouth with the white napkins that Roxas had remembered to give out right before everyone had begun to eat.

"That's wonderful. What does he study?" Liam questioned, having finished his dinner. Roxas looked down at his own plate which was still laden with food. He was seated next to Will but his Aunt sat on his other side so he didn't feel as nervous as he would have if it was just him and Will. Eyeing his cousin's plate he found it empty, the white napkin resting, neatly folded, on the plate.

"Music. He _adores_ music," Elena answered. "He just came back from university two weeks ago and right away he was off to see if he could get a few performances in before the summer ended."

Roxas lifted a fork full of mashed potatoes to his mouth and swallowed, feeling nauseous.

"Enthusiasm never hurt anyone!" Roxas's Aunt grinned, eyes sparkling. Roxas knew he needed to be excused, his stomach wasn't agreeing with the mashed potatoes he had consumed.

"Um, Aunt Arielle, can I be excused?" Roxas muttered, feeling his stomach lurch.

"Huh? Roxas, are you okay?" His Aunt turned around to face him, here eyes looking worried. She placed a hand on his forehead and then lifted Roxas's face up by lifting his chin. "Roxas?"

"I, I don't know, my stomach, I feel like I'm going to throw up," Roxas mumbled, not quite wanting all the worried looks he was getting. Will would call him an attention whore, and Roxas knew what came after that.

His Aunt's eyes widened, "Your stomach hurts? Will can you take Roxas to the bathroom, I'll be there in a few minutes. I'll get you some medicine sweety."

"I, I can go by myself," Roxas stumbled with the words, catching the nasty look on Will's features from the corner of his eye.

"Nonsense!" His Aunt exclaimed, getting up and helping Roxas to his feet. "Will?"

"Not a problem Mum," he said, and Roxas could hear the hidden malice in the words for him. His Aunt smiled.

"Give me a few minutes," she smiled at her guests.

"Of course," Elena assured, a look of sympathy on her face for Roxas. He could have done without it though. A hand grasped Roxas's arm and he suppressed a wince as Will's nails dug into his skin.

"Come on Roxas."

Roxas just followed no other option available to him. He allowed Will to drag him off to the bathroom. Roxas knew the only reason he felt sick was because he had started to stress about what Will had said and his mental health heavily affected his physical health.

So as he was dragged off, Roxas felt the sick feeling in his stomach grow as he thought more on what Will would do now. Once out of the dining room, the hold on his arm somehow grew stronger and Roxas winced. "You fucking little twit," Will hissed.

Roxas said nothing, he just let Will fling him into the bathroom and as he fell on his knees he gagged. Once, twice and on the third gag he felt the bile rise up in his throat and he quickly placed his mouth so that the contents of his stomach landed in the toilet. He felt more coming up and threw it out too, his throat starting to burn from the hydrochloric acid in his stomach.

He felt sick, so fucking sick and as he barfed out the rest of his stomach he heard his Aunt cry out his name. Next he felt her kneeling beside him, rubbing his back in an attempt to make him feel better. He gagged once or twice more, but nothing came up. He spat out the nasty taste in his mouth but it remained. Leaning back a bit so he rested softly on his Aunt's arm Roxas swallowed, his throat burning.

"Oh Roxas, you've been worrying again haven't you?" his Aunt cried. "Will, call your father, he can help get Roxas into his bed."

Will said nothing as he walked away from the bathroom and returned in a minute with Liam. "Did he throw up?"

"Yeah, poor thing. I think he's just worrying himself silly," his Aunt said, her worry apparent in her voice.

"Here give him to me," Liam said, extending his hands. His Aunt then helped Roxas to his feet and Liam placed his arm over his shoulders and helped Roxas up the stairs. Arielle apologized to Elena and Tseng who just told her it was okay. His Uncle walked him into his bedroom and placed him onto the bed.

"Still feeling nauseous?" he asked, his brows furrowed up in worry. Roxas shook his head. He didn't feel the nasty sick feeling in his stomach anymore. Rather he felt less of it. He knew it'd pass. He'd thrown up enough times in school to know.

"I'll go look after the guests, I'm sure your Aunt is going to rush up here any second," Liam smiled softly, petting Roxas's hair. Roxas nodded his head, eyes closing. He felt tired and his throat was still hurting.

"I'll come see you after I send them off," Liam added as he walked out of the room. Roxas just lay on the bed, trying to clear his head. He wanted so badly to forget Will. To just forget him, and never put up with him again.

It wasn't too much to ask for right?

_Of course not_, a voice in his head whispered, and it sounded comforting and Roxas liked that comfort. He liked it very much.

He heard his Aunt's voice whispering his name but Roxas was too tired to answer back. He just let the tiredness capture him and went to sleep, dreaming of nothing and everything.

But mostly of how nice it would be if there was no Will any more.

--

**Author's Notes:** ...Review. Please.


	3. Those Lost Things: iii Dancing

**Author's Notes: **Last update for the night.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to _Kingdom Hearts_. It belongs to Square Enix and the Walt Disney Company. I'm simply trying to write 50 000 words for NaNo.

--

**The Incident with the Blond**

_Those Lost Things_

in which we:

meet the blond – learn of guests – see the dancing – hear the laughter – dream of friends – find the first link in the chain – smile – watch rain – eat ice-cream

--

iii. Dancing

The summer had come and gone, and he hadn't been accepted onto the University's campus so his relatives had asked Tseng and Elena if the offer to live with their children was still open. It was and Roxas felt nervous as hell as he stood in front of the apartment building with his Uncle.

He had said goodbye to his Aunt at the house. She had cried a lot and Roxas had felt awful but she kept telling him she was going to be fine and that it was okay that he was going. Roxas had been overcome with guilt, since he was leaving Destiny Island for the mainland to come to Twilight City. He felt selfish for leaving his Aunt and Uncle but at least Will was out of the picture.

"Alright Roxy, let's get you acquainted with your apartment," his Uncle smiled, a cardboard box in his arms. Roxas was holding one himself. His Uncle set off for the apartment complex's front doors and Roxas followed, eyes wandering around to take in the scenery.

His stomach was swirling with anxiety and butterflies. He was hoping that Demyx and Naminé wouldn't feel like he was imposing on them.

As his Uncle and he stepped into the elevator, Roxas leaned against a side wall as his Uncle pressed the number eleven button. The elevator lurched upward, as did Roxas's stomach. When it finally stopped, Roxas found himself staring out at a fading pink wallpapered wall. His Uncle stepped out of the elevator and headed to the right, mumbling the number of the apartment underneath his breath. "1136, 1136, 1136…"

Roxas's own eyes were scanning over the numbers on the doors, too, and they seemed to be heading in the right direction. They passed a door labelled 1131 and Roxas slowed down a bit, eyes drifting to the other side of the hallway. They landed on the door with the number 1136 written on it. His Uncle had stopped in front of the door and had knocked politely.

A few minutes later the door was opened, a small crack at first and Roxas saw Naminé's blue eyes looking out to see who it was. A small smile made it to her face as she realized who it was and she opened the door. "Hi."

"Hey Naminé. Just bringing up Roxas's things," his Uncle smiled. Roxas looked down at the equally fading pink carpet on the floor, feeling his ears go red.

She just smiled, stepping out of the doorway. Roxas saw his Uncle's feet move forwards so he followed suit. Once inside the apartment, Roxas saw that it was small but in the sense that it was cozy and felt homely. He liked it. There was a closet to his left as he entered the apartment and the place spread wide into a large living room, kitchen and dining area. Two doors sat on the right side of the apartment and two more on the left. One was clearly the bathroom door, as Roxas could see the sink inside.

"Demyx isn't here right now, but he said Roxas could take the room over there," Naminé said, pointing to a door on the right side of room. "Demyx's room is beside yours and I'm over here." Now she pointed to the door on the left that was beside the bathroom door. Roxas nodded his head.

"Thanks Naminé," Liam smiled at her, striding toward the room on the right that she had indicated as Roxas's. Roxas followed, finding that he'd been doing a lot of that today. As he stepped inside the room he found the walls painted a soft blue colour and a three piece bedroom set sat in the room. A bed, a desk and a dresser. There was a closet in the left corner. "Alright Roxas, I'll just get your boxes for you. I'm sure you can unpack on your own."

"Yeah, thanks Uncle Liam," Roxas smiled, placing the box in his hands on the floor.

"No problem Roxas," his Uncle replied, walking out of the room. Roxas stood in the room for a few seconds, staring at how it would be his and how Will would never be able to come into it. The anxious feeling in his stomach dissipated and Roxas left for downstairs to retrieve the rest of his things with a soft smile on his face.

--

He had settled into his room by the very same afternoon, his clothes in his closet which was pretty decent sized. He placed his laptop on the desk along with the books he had bought for his courses and a few of his favourite reading books. His Uncle had left about an hour after he had brought Roxas to the apartment, giving him a hug as he said goodbye. Roxas had just thanked him for everything he'd done, to which his Uncle chuckled saying he didn't need to thank him, it had been his pleasure.

Roxas could still feel the warm feeling he had gotten in his heart after those words. He sighed, lying down on the bed in his room. He had to get the walls covered. Preferably with his sketches. But he was too tired right now. He just wanted to get a good night's sleep. After all he only had a week before classes started.

--

It turned out that Demyx was staying at a friend's house until the term started as it was his tradition to spend the week before school with his closest friends. Roxas still had to meet Naminé's older brother and felt nervous about it. He had hardly spoken to Naminé too. She kept to her room most of the time and Roxas found himself sitting in his, sketching away.

He had sat on the balcony one night, and found that the view was breath taking under the starry sky. Twilight City was definitely something else. The city lit up at night, neon lights and glimmering signs, city lamps and building lights shined from every corner. It was a beautiful sight.

He'd sketched that entire night and had even gotten started on a painting. His sketches had been pinned to the wall; it was easier for him to paint that way. He really liked where he was staying, the apartment was quiet, the view was gorgeous and the few people he'd met were nice.

There was a coffee shop a block way from the apartment complex that he'd taken to. It was nice and cozy with a really excited and equally nice barista. He made the most delicious cinnamon lattes and Roxas couldn't even think about starting a day without getting a cup from there now. A blueberry muffin to go with.

Roxas had actually just departed from this coffee shop, saying bye to Sora who was the barista who worked there. He went to another university which was more for the sporty kids, not the intellectuals or artsy kids.

He was a nice guy, Sora, but Roxas never really got a chance to talk to the guy. Mornings were busy affairs at the café. But Roxas didn't mind as long as he got the window seat with the high stools. It was absolutely lovely sitting there with his book in his hands, reading the morning away.

He was holding his book in his hands right now, a white and black checkerboard pattern scarf wrapped around his neck. Roxas had grown fond of scarves even though the original reason he had started wearing him was a painful memory. He had about five or six scarves, but the one he had on right now was his favourite.

The September air was cool against his skin but it felt good as it rushed through his hair. It was the first day of university and the messenger bag Roxas had slung over his right shoulder was weighed down by two textbooks. He had two classes and then he wouldn't have another class until the next day, which he considered pretty nifty. He had caught a glimpse of Naminé's schedule and she had three classes today, all with irregular time intervals between them.

His first class was Arts History which would be fun, at least Roxas hoped so. History had always been fun back in high school, which was probably because he has been good at it. The textbook he had had to buy for the course was massive, some one thousand pages long and it weighed a ton. Which was to be expected since the History of Art _was_ pretty lengthy.

Roxas entered the Arts Department building and began to walk down the hallway trying to locate room 104. The lecture room was probably massive since this was a first year course. He glanced at a closed door which had the number 110 nailed on. The up the hallway read 108, so he head off in that direction. As we walked down, he passed by rows of lockers which alternated on colour, probably to reflect school spirit.

His eyes landed on an open door from which was coming a fair bit of commotion. Roxas glanced at the number on the door, 104, it was the right room. He entered to find a massive number of students sitting in the bleacher like seats that towered upwards. Spotting a seat in the middle of the bleachers by the stairs, Roxas quietly walked up and sat down in the empty seat. He placed his bag on the wooden desk that extended from him to the other side of the room. The seats twirled around in a semi-circle, with the professor's desk at the front and a massive blackboard behind it.

A dark haired boy sat beside him but he didn't look like the kind who'd want to talk to a stranger so Roxas said nothing, focusing his eyes back to the front of the room. A group of students walked in followed closely by a tall, brunette. She had on a loose black dress that reached just above her knees, black tights and knee high black boots. To finish it all she had a short, white scarf wrapped around her neck.

She stopped at the front of the classroom, eyes scanning the people in the room. A smile broke out on her face. "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen!"

The room fell silent at her words which seemed to echo in the vastness of the room. "I'm your Prof, Tifa Lockheart. Call me Lockheart, if I get anything else I'll kick you out of my class. Now to business, you all think you know something about History right? Well think again, you know _nothing_. You're a bunch of pretentious dumbasses, nothing else. But I'll change that. I'll fill your minds with something so that by the time you get your degrees you _will_ know something about History."

Roxas gulped as a deathly silence passed over the room. This lady was all business wasn't she? She had turned around now and was scribbling something on the board. It was a website url. "I want you to all go here tonight and look over the list of painters and determine the time periods they come from. Once you do that, you'll realize just what I mean when I say you know nothing. We're covering all of them, from now to December. That's four months kiddies. Prepare yourselves."

Roxas fumbled with his bag and pulled out a notebook along with his textbook. He scribbled the url down and swallowed. Did she like to be intimidating? There was a large grin on her face and she pulled out a stack of papers from a bag she had carried in with her.

"Spend the next fifty minutes looking over this package. I want a detailed summary on it by the end of those fifty minutes. Have fun," she smiled as she split the pile of papers in half and gave each pile to different students on the opposite sides of the room.

Roxas couldn't help but feel nervous. The guy next to him hadn't even written the url down. Actually it looked like he had fallen asleep.

--

Roxas's hand had nearly died as he had madly scribbled down a summary for the twenty page package on a brief history of the arts. After which his Professor had started a lecture which dragged on the rest of the session and Roxas felt like his brain would explode from the amount of information that she had drilled into his head.

On top of which she wanted a one thousand word essay on an artist of their choice. Roxas liked essays but this one was due by next Monday which gave him a week.

His next class had been a bit better but not by much. Sculpting wasn't really Roxas's thing but their Professor had started them on a three week in class sculpting project. They had to sculpt any animal they wanted. They had five hours every Monday to work the sculpture which was too much if you asked Roxas. By the time he got out of the room which smelled like clay, Roxas's stomach was growling.

He was walking down the hallway when he heard some music in a nearby classroom. Roxas, for some reason felt drawn by it and his feet led him to an open door. The classroom looked a lot like his Art History classroom but led down toward a stage. There on the stage was a red-headed male. _Probably an actor_, Roxas thought staring at him; the music still enchanting him.

For some reason he couldn't tear his gaze away. The classroom was filled with a few students, not more than twenty from what Roxas could see. The red-head walked into the center of the stage and the music stopped. Roxas frowned having liked the light classical tune. Suddenly it started again and the boy on the stage started to move.

The music picked up speed as did the boy's actions, he was dancing. Roxas followed his every movement. Every jump, spin and roll. The music escalated and Roxas could feel his heart beat faster, as if he could feel what the red-head was feeling. But what was really capturing Roxas was the beauty of how the red-head danced. It was like his body was made to dance, lithe and lean, the black muscle shirt he wore clung to his torso.

With every jump his arms spread out elongating his movement and his legs arched perfectly and then he would land, spin and flutter across to the other side of the stage. With every high note in the music he reacted with erratic motions, cutting into the air with precision but _fuck_ was it beautiful. With every spin and dive and arch of his back, Roxas felt his heart spin and dive and arch. The music was nothing now, a minor detail in the background. His dancing was enchanting. Roxas had never seen anything so…so striking in its individuality, never anything so gorgeous. He could feel his heart beat faster as the music stopped and he almost wanted to shout for the boy to never stop but the act was coming to an end. And with one last pirouette, he slowly circled his way to his feet, arms spread out and then he fell to the stage and lay there, the music gone.

A silence ensued. The red-head's body lay on the stage; Roxas could see his chest fall and rise. But there was no noise, nothing. It was as if everyone had been left speechless, not just him. Roxas couldn't hear anything except for the hammering of his heart and the blood that was rushing to his head.

And then suddenly a loud clapping noise filled the classroom, soon joined in by many others. There were shouts and screams. Roxas still couldn't move, entranced. He wanted to clap but his body refused to move, only wanting to see him dance again and again, to never stop. His heart beat had softened somewhat, but Roxas still felt amazed, awed.

"He's great isn't he?"

Roxas's head snapped around and spotted a tall boy, a guitar resting over his shoulder on his back. He had blond hair, lighter than his own, which he kept in a mullet, with longer stands falling down on the sides. He had light blue eyes and a soft look in them that made Roxas realize that he must have been looking a lot like that a few minutes ago.

"Ye-yeah…" Roxas replied, eyes wanting badly to return to the red-head.

The blonds' face broke into a giant grin, "He's my best friend and I keep telling him he should ditch acting and become a full-time dancer but he says he wants to go into theatre so he has to do both. I think he's just being an idiot."

Roxas didn't know what to say, so he looked back inside the classroom, eyes immediately going to the red-head. He had gotten up now, a smile on his face as his classmates told him how good he had been.

"I'm Demyx by the way," he heard the blond say behind him. Roxas's head twirled around to look at the boy again.

"Demyx? As in Naminé's older brother Demyx?" Roxas questioned. He blushed afterward, noticing how weird it must be to be suddenly questioned like that.

"Yeah…how'd you know?" the boy answered, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm, I'm Roxas," Roxas answered, wondering and hoping if Demyx remembered him.

The boy stared at him for a bit before his face lit up. "Roxas?! As in my new flatmate Roxas?!"

"Yeah!" Roxas grinned, the boy's smile addictive. He hadn't expected such a nice reaction.

"Awesome! I'm real sorry about not showing my face all of last week but I'm sure Nams told you I was upholding tradition," he rambled, grin still plastered on his face.

"She did and I don't mind. Thanks for letting me stay with you," Roxas replied, blushing slightly at the apology the blond had given him.

"No problem dude! It's always nice to have company," Demyx grinned, showing off a set of white teeth.

"Thanks," Roxas smiled. "I should get going though. I have an essay for homework that I want to get out of the way."

"You don't want to say hi to Axel? I'm sure he'd appreciate that you were ogling at him while he was dancing," Demyx laughed.

"I, I wasn't _ogling_!" Roxas retorted, mortified by the comment. He blushed red, his mind rushing to find an excuse for his behaviour. _He just couldn't look away…_Yeah, he couldn't look away.

"Sure, Roxy," he smiled. Roxas looked up at him as he used the same nickname his relatives used. "If I can call you that," Demyx rushed in afterwards seeing he look Roxas was giving him.

"Uh, no, um, of course you can. I was just startled that someone other than my relatives was using the nickname," Roxas explained, hands grasping his messenger bag's strap. The real reason was Will's frequent usage of the name. Always when he as making fun of him, or when he was having his way with him. Roxas almost shuddered.

"Don't your friends use the same nickname? I can't see any better nickname for something as adorable as you," Demyx grinned, blue eyes sparkling.

Roxas's eyes widened and he blushed. "I'm, I'm not _adorable_. I, I'll get going, see you later." And with that Roxas quickly walked off.

"Bye Roxy!" Demyx had shouted after him but Roxas hadn't looked back, heart beating fast. He just had to mention 'friends' didn't he?

--

**Author's Notes:** Thanks for reading guys.


	4. Those Lost Things: iv The Laughter

**Author's Notes: **I know I said I'd update only when I had three parts in total written but I'm starting to feel bad that I haven't updated since this weekend which technically isn't a long time but still...So here's he next part. I haven't made a lot of progress on the parts following this part because I had an emo day this Tuesday and a 'INEEDTOWRITEROMANCE!' day on Wednesday but the next part of the fic wasn't romance so...I like forced myself not to wrote. Otherwise I was afraid that Roxas would eat Demyx.

On another note, I forgot to mention that Will was supposed to be Saix but then Saix's age got in the way and I told Saix he was a dumbass for being older then Axel and Demyx. I think I was supposed to mention one more thing but am failing to...Anyways, enjoy the next part guys!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to _Kingdom Hearts_. It belongs to Square Enix and the Walt Disney Company. I'm simply trying to write 50 000 words for NaNo.

**-- **

**The Incident with the Blond**

_Those Lost Things_

in which we:

meet the blond – learn of guests – see the dancing – hear the laughter – dream of friends – find the first link in the chain – smile – watch rain – eat ice-cream

--

iv. The Laughter

Roxas had made it home to find that Naminé still wasn't back, which was slightly startling. He'd thought that her courses would have been over for the day. Finding the apartment empty to himself, Roxas wandered over to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator. It was pretty stocked up, which was probably Naminé's doing. She was a really nice girl.

Maybe today he'd finally talk to her, actually get a few words out to her. He felt a lot more sociable. As if his youthful self was coming back. Roxas smiled as he pulled out a block of cheese and a few vegetables. He felt like eating lasagne. Which made him stop and think… _do we even have lasagne?_

He shuffled over to the cupboards and began looking through them and finally found one filled with stock food. Cans of beans and cereal boxes looked back at him. He shuffled some food aside and found a package of lasagne. He grinned pulling it out.

Placing his ingredients on the counter, Roxas walked over to his room and ruffled through his dresser, finding the apron his Aunt had helped him stitch his name into. Pulling it over his head, Roxas tied it behind his back, walking back to the closet. Once there he got to work.

He loved working in the kitchen, which was something he had gotten from his mother. After she had passed away, Roxas had refused to go anywhere near the kitchen until his Aunt tricked him. Once she had gotten him in she forced him to help her out with dinner. Roxas had been so angry. She had been screaming for help. He had run down because he had been afraid that he'd lose her too.

But he had forgotten all his anger, finding the time in the kitchen to be relaxing. He had laughed for the first time since his parents had died in that kitchen. And for that very reason Roxas had continued to cook. He loved the smile his Aunt had or her face when he helped out. He loved the surprised expression she had worn the first time he had made dinner for her and his Uncle. Roxas didn't want to say it, feeling guilty, but she had really taken the place of a mother in his heart.

She wiped away all the pain his heart felt when he thought back to his real parents. His loving, caring, perfect parents.

It had been difficult, when he had lost them. He had sworn at the doctors, screamed at them for lying to him. His parents couldn't have been dead. There was no fucking way but his Aunt had pulled him close and wrapped her arms around him, she had held him as he shook so hard he thought he was literally going to break.

Roxas swallowed, his heat feeling heavy and his eyes getting a bit teary. Wiping at them just in case, Roxas continued to grate the cheese, pushing away the awful memory. He was fine now. Fine.

Roxas had just pulled out the lasagne when the door opened and in walked Naminé. She looked tired and rather drained. She threw her bag down on the couch in the living room and her head looked up, nose sniffing. "Something smells good…" she trailed, looking at Roxas.

Roxas smiled. "I made lasagne, would you like some?"

"Yeah," she smiled, walking over to him. She had on the same white dress she had worn the day she had come to his Aunt Arielle's house. She looked nice in it. It outlined her figure nicely. Roxas smiled softly at her as he placed the plate of lasagne on the small table for four in front of the balcony. He walked back into the kitchen, grabbing two plates, two forks and a knife.

"I'll get us something to drink," she smiled, as Roxas placed the plates on the table.

"That'd be great," Roxas said, cutting into the lasagne. She came back just as Roxas placed a piece of lasagne on the second plate. She has holding a bottle of wine and two wine glasses.

"My mum always gave Demyx and me wine with lasagne, or any pasta for that matter," she laughed, uncorking the bottle. She poured the deep red-purple liquid into the glasses and set one in front of Roxas.

"Thanks."

"Hey you made me lasagne, pouring wine is nothing," she laughed, seating herself in the chair next to Roxas.

"I hope you like it. I'm not sure if I'm any good at cooking, I just like to…" Roxas trailed, eyes fixed on her as she took a forkful of lasagne. She chewed on the piece for a bit, her eyes lighting up.

"Are you kidding? This is great!" she grinned and Roxas couldn't help but grinning back. She had been so quiet this entire week and now it was like there was no shyness or awkwardness between them.

"Thanks," he grinned, fighting off a small blush. "How was your day?"

"Horrible, I can't believe how quickly some of my professors threw work on me. It's _insane_," she sighed, face going back to her previous tired expression.

"Yeah I know that you mean. I have an essay to write by next Monday and a sculpture to make. I'm not all that great with sculptures…"Roxas trailed, taking a bite of his lasagne.

"An essay? Are you in Lockheart's Art History class?" she asked, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Yeah," Roxas answered a bit unsure as to why she had asked or how she knew.

"Really? I'm in the same class! Wasn't she…kind of scary?"

"Yeah! I mean, holy crap. She just told us all off and then said we had to write an essay. Sort of whacky no?" Roxas added, enjoying the conversation.

"I wanted to sink into my seat. It was horrible," Namine mumbled. "And them my Medieval History teacher just laid it on. Already gave us our major assignment for the semester. I had fun in my last class though, it was an elective. I took a painting class. The teacher was laid back and she just let us do whatever we wanted."

Roxas laughed, "That sucks. I can't wait for my painting class. It's tomorrow morning."

"Oh you're going to have tons of fun. It's wonderful. The professor, Yuffie Kisaragi is absolutely nutters but she's so energetic it just gets to you," Naminé grinned.

"Nutters like Lockheart?"

"No…more overly excited about everything. And she may have his strange belief that she's actually a ninja…which is odd coming from a thirty something year old," Naminé laughed, eyes looking on unfocused for a moment as she probably remembered something. She was holding her empty fork so it pointed upwards in front of her face, the dazed look still in her eyes.

Roxas stifled a laugh at the expression on her face and looked down at his now empty plate. He hadn't realised he'd eaten all of his meal. His wine glass on the other hand had barely been drunk out of. He reached for just as the front door swung open. There in the doorway stood Demyx, a giant grin plastered on his face. There was someone standing behind him. It was the red-head Roxas had seen earlier. His eyes widened as his brain finally caught with his eyes and he caught his fork as he nearly dropped it.

"Namiiiii," Demyx grinned, running into the room right for his sister. The red-head followed, walking slowly with the same grace he had shown on the stage. His eyebrows rose in surprise as he spotted Roxas and Roxas quickly looked away, staring down at his empty plate. For some reason he got the feeling Demyx had told the red-head about him…

"Demyx!" Naminé smiled, getting out of her seat just in time. Demyx had wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her in a bear hug. Roxas could hear her giggles as she hugged him back.

"Hmm, what's that yummy smell in the air?" Demyx suddenly asked, pulling away from his sister, his nose sniffing at the air.

"Roxas made lasagne! And it's _so_ good," Naminé said, a wide grin on her face. Roxas could see that she was a lot more relaxed around her brother. From the way he had run inside and hugged her, he cared about her a lot too.

"Really?! So Roxy's a cook?" Demyx grinned, cocking an eyebrow at Roxas who had finally stopped staring at his plate and had decided he could look up.

"I guess so," Roxas answered, shrugging slightly. Demyx just gave him an even wider grin, if that was possible.

"Ax, this here is Roxas. Roxas, meet my best friend Axel. Not that this is the first time _you_ ever saw him," Demyx laughed, a teasing tone in his last statement. Roxas blushed remembering the conversation he had had earlier that very day.

"Oh, so this is the guy who was watching me from the door eh?" he heard the red-head say, the smirk on his lips almost apparent in the tone of his voice.

Roxas turned his head to look at Axel, as Demyx had called him, and gave the boy a once over. He hadn't actually really seen the boy properly when he had watched him dance. Roxas was actually somewhat startled by his appearance but he quickly hi the surprise afraid he might hurt the boy's feelings. The red-head was a good two heads taller than Roxas, and had a mane of thick, spiky, dark red hair that reminded Roxas distinctly of flames. But what caught Roxas off guard were his sparkling green eyes. They were such a bright, aquamarine colour, vibrant in their beauty. Roxas hadn't though such a colour existed. They were intensified in their uniqueness by his thick black lashes that made it seem like he had used eyeliner to make them stand out ever more. And right beneath each eye he had a black upside down tear-drop. Roxas wasn't sure if they were tattoos of makeup.

The red-head seemed to have caught on to Roxas's train of thought and answered the question, "They're tattoos. And that hair's real too, before you star going, 'Is it your _real_ hair colour?'"

Roxas was slightly surprised that the boy had read his mind like that; pouting just slightly at the tone he had used to say the words. "I never suspected it not to be your real hair colour." The boy just gave him a smirk.

"Sure thing, Blondie, anyways, Dem you mind if I crash here tonight?"

"Nope," the blond answered, having flopped down into the seat across from Roxas. "Hey Roxy, mind if I pig out on your lasagne? I have a thing for pasta."

Roxas's eyes widened again. "O-of course not." Actually he felt delighted that Demyx wanted to have his lasagne. "You can have some too Axel." He added, gesturing to the remaining seat at the table. He himself got up and walked back into the kitchen to retrieve two more plates, forks and wine glasses.

"Thanks Blondie," Axel smirked, as Roxas set down a plate in front of him and the moved to set one before Demyx. He just nodded his head, finding the nickname the red-head had given him to be rather…nice? It definitely didn't make him tense up the way 'Roxy' did, which was probably why he liked it. Otherwise, 'Blondie'? It sounded horrendous.

"I can't wait to try it! If Nami says it's good, it's got to be wonderful!" Demyx laughed. Roxas grinned at the compliment, cutting out pieces of the lasagne for the red-head and the blond. He placed them on their plates and sat back down in his own seat.

"So, back to you watching me. Demyx here tells me you were _ogling_," Axel snickered, fork stabbing into his lasagne.

Roxas felt his face heat up as he glared at Demyx even though he had already gotten the feeling that he knew.

"_Axel_, don't bother Roxas, you'll scare him off," Naminé scolded. She had cut herself another piece of the lasagne and was quickly eating it. Roxas was surprised. There was one more piece left and he didn't really feel like eating it. Maybe one of the guys would like it.

Axel rolled his eyes at her but refrained from saying anything else. Not that he would have been heard from the sudden cry of joy from Demyx, "IT'S JUST LIKE MUM'S! OH MY GOD ROXAS! YOU'RE MY _HERO!_"

Roxas stared at the boy bewildered, eyes wide. "Er…um…I…_huh?_"

Axel burst out laughing and Naminé giggled, Demyx looked like he was debating whether he should get off his seat to tackle Roxas to the ground or eat the rest of the lasagne. Roxas was still too surprised to say anything else. Demyx seemed to decide he was going to finish the lasagne before he did anything else, a scary happy expression on his face. Roxas hadn't thought so much happiness could be plastered on one face all at once.

"Hey, this is pretty good…" Axel trailed, thoughtfully chewing on the food. Roxas just couldn't believe it. He had never gotten so much praise for his cooking skills…well his Aunt had always told him he was wonderful at it but Roxas had always assumed she was just being her usual nice self.

"Thank-you," Roxas managed, blushing slightly. He got up, picking up his empty plate so he could place it in the sink. Naminé seemed to get up right after him and had picked up her own plate. Roxas hadn't even noticed when she had finished.

"Roxy you have to promise to make dinner every night! And breakfast! I demand it!" Roxas heard Demyx shout over his shoulder.

Roxas couldn't help but laugh, "Sure." There was this odd tingling sensation in his stomach. He had never quite thought that anyone would like his cooking so much, in fact he really hadn't thought he was any good. But this was just making his day. He smiled genuinely at how kind the people he lived with her and considered himself lucky. It was such a step up from Will.

"Yes!" Demyx shouted, his voice filled with happiness. Roxas turned around to find Naminé giving him a sweet smile. "He's very expressive."

Roxas just nodded his head, still smiling. "Good thing I'm staying over. I won't get have to miss Blondie's breakfast meal," Axel smirked. Roxas just felt the happiness rise.

"Thanks guys, but I'm sure it's not _that_ good," Roxas laughed, "Anyone want the last piece?" He pointed at the piece still sitting in the glass pan he had used to make the lasagne.

"Are you kidding!? It _is_ that good!" Demyx exclaimed, waving his arms frantically.

"I would actually," Axel grinned, diving for the piece before Demyx could realise that while he was shouting about how good Roxas's cooking was he was going to lose the last piece. Demyx gasped as he realised what had just happened and fixed Axel with a glare. Roxas felt slightly scared by the look in the blond's eyes.

"Axel," he hissed, "That piece is _mine_."

"Nuh-uh! I got it first!" Axel retorted, sticking his tongue out. Roxas raised a brow at the childish behaviour.

"They're always like that," Naminé smiled. "They've known each other since they were like…five or something. I pretty much grew up with Axel at our house all the time. He's like a second brother."

"Sounds awesome," Roxas smiled, he didn't want her to catch the slightly jealous look that had probably crossed his facial features. Roxas knew why he felt that way and he felt bad about it but it hurt. It hurt that he'd lost everything and then there were people like Demyx and Axel and Naminé who had it all. Mentally smacking himself, Roxas forced himself not to think that way. He didn't want to be some selfish brat who emoed over himself.

Of course in the meanwhile, Demyx had lunged at Axel and had tackled the boy right off of his chair. Roxas watched, wide eyed and was about to interfere when he felt someone's hand on his arm. Roxas felt himself flinch, the hand immediately shot back. Gulping Roxas looked at Naminé, she was giving him a worried glance so Roxas smiled, to say he was okay.

He still wasn't okay with anyone but his Aunt and Uncle touching him. He kept thinking the hands belonged to Will. _Fuck,_ when was he going to get over that? He wasn't going to survive if he kept thinking back to Will every five minutes.

Naminé's brows had scrunched up together but she said nothing. "They'll fight it out, don't worry. I'll help you clean up."

Roxas just nodded his head slightly, looking back at the boys who were now rolling around on the floor, fighting over the last piece of _his_ lasagne. Roxas couldn't help but feel somewhat overjoyed by that. He knew that wasn't exactly the best thing to be feeling but he did anyways.

"It's _my_ piece Axel!" Demyx cried as Axel rolled him over, struggling to keep Demyx's hands away from his face.

"Not even!" Axel countered, sitting himself down on the blond's hips.

"But that's not faaaiiirr!" Demyx shouted. "I wish Zexy was here!"

"I wish Marly was here!" Axel shot back, now grinning. Roxas raised an eyebrow at Naminé at the two (nick)names mentioned as he leaned forward and picked up the empty lasagne dish and two empty glasses. It was strange but he didn't feel tipsy from the wine at all…Last time Roxas had drunk he had stated to bawl his eyes out and had almost jumped off of a bridge. He didn't remember what had stopped him…

"Their friends," Naminé answered, she had started to wash the plates that were already in the sink. Roxas brought her the rest of the dishes that weren't being used and turned the tap on so he could rinse and dry.

And that's how the night passed. Demyx won the last piece of lasagne. Axel had then proceeded to glare as much as he could at his friend and had fallen asleep on the couch. Naminé had covered him with a blanket and Roxas had realised that it was actually getting pretty late and he had hoped to have started his essay by now.

He had ended up going to sleep at around eleven, the rest of his apartment members having already fallen asleep before him. But when he had crawled into bed, Roxas had had a giant grin on his face. His flatmates were wonderful. Naminé _and_ Demyx. Axel was just an added bonus.

--

Roxas woke up the next morning panting. His body was covered in a sweat and his eyes flooded with Will's sneering face, as he raped him over and over. Roxas could almost feel the pain shoot up his back and his heart panged causing Roxas chest's to feel heavy. Sighing heavily, Roxas rolled out of bed. The clock beside him on the small night table read _5:34 a.m._

Swallowing, Roxas cracked open the door, peeking outside. Axel was sleeping on the couch and Roxas couldn't see anyone else up and about. So he walked over to his closet, pulled out a black t-shirt with red blood splatters across the bottom left that continued around onto the back of the shirt and a long-sleeved red shirt to wear underneath it. He then grabbed a lose pair of dark blue jeans, which had a number of pockets all over them.

Tiptoeing over the bathroom, Roxas stripped down and got in the shower, turning it on so that hot water hit his body, sort of like a massage. The water trickled down his body and Roxas suddenly saw blood on the floor of the tub. Blood and white cum. They swirled together, creating this disgusting pink colour. Roxas stopped a sob from escaping his lips. He closed his eyes, trying to wipe the memory out of his mind. He had usually showered in the morning to find the pink substance swirling around his feet. He'd never see it again though, but still, now he was haunting his dreams. It was just insane! Roxas just wanted to forget about it. Wipe it away.

But he knew that was going to be hard. Fucking hard.

Roxas felt the tears he had stopped earlier welling up in his eyes and he let them fall this time, knowing that he wasn't going to start wailing. These were the silent tears that Roxas had cried himself sleep to. The silent tears that no one knew about…except maybe Will but he liked the tears. He thought they suited Roxas fine, and that with those tears in his eyes Roxas looked every bit the _pansy_ that he was.

Roxas could feel himself getting angry at himself. He slammed a fist into the wall of the shower, forcing the tears to stop. He didn't want to cry anymore. He'd done enough of that. A lifetimes worth in fact.

--

"I smell waffles!" Demyx yawned while stretching as he stepped out of his room wearing a loosely fitting blue shirt and his boxers. He rubbed his eyes, stifling another yawn.

"Damn good waffles," Axel said, currently in the act of eating as many as he possibly could.

Roxas smiled, "Don't worry Demyx, I made some for you."

"Yay!" the blond cried, running into the kitchen and flinging his arms around Roxas. Roxas's immediately stiffened, eyes growing wide. He dropped the mixer that was in hand onto the floor and found that he couldn't breathe anymore. The blond seemed to notice the awkwardness of the hug and let go of Roxas staring down at him. "Rox…as?"

Roxas didn't hear him, his mind flooding with words Will had taunted him with. He swallowed hard, shaking his head slowly and then much more vigorously. "I'm f-fine."

"Are you sure…?" Demyx asked, worry and curiosity filling up the depths of his beautiful blue eyes.

"Of, of course," Roxas stuttered, notching that he had dropped the mixer. Roxas bent down and picked it up, forcing himself to breathe, to clear his mind. Demyx wasn't Will. Will was gone. _Gone_.

He let out a shaky breath as he got up and tried to smile at Demyx. Demyx still looked worried; Roxas's smiling attempt had probably not worked. "You should go take a shower and get ready; otherwise Axel may eat all the waffles." But Axel didn't protest like Roxas thought he would have, instead the apartment was filled with silence. Roxas looked over Demyx's shoulder and saw Axel giving him a somewhat concerned look. He had the same curiosity in his emerald depths that Demyx had in his eyes. Swallowing thickly, Roxas turned around, going to the sink to wash the mixer, pretending none of it had happened.

Demyx stood there for a few seconds before turning around and leaving. Axel, rather hesitantly, went back to eating the waffles but not with the same energy he had been eating them before. Roxas simply went back to making the waffles, mind racing on what he had just done. He should have hugged Demyx back, like he did his Aunt or Uncle. He knew Demyx wasn't Will but…but he still couldn't…Roxas felt his heart twist in pain and he remembered the nightmare he had had and the crying in the shower and suddenly Roxas wanted to cry again. He wanted to fall to his knees and just cry because he hated himself for being so weak. So weak that he couldn't even return hugs…Was he that scared?

He hadn't thought so.

About five minutes later, after an awkward silence filled the space between Axel and him, Naminé strolled in, dressed in a flowery pink dress shirt and a flowing white skirt that reached below her knees. "Roxas, Axel, morning!" she smiled sweetly, taking a seat at the table.

"Morning Nams," Axel mumbled, the atmosphere in the room still somewhat awkward.

"Morning Naminé!" Roxas smiled trying to lighten things up. He walked over to her and set down a plate with three waffles sitting on it. "Breakfast."

She gave him a giant grin," Thanks!"

"No problem," Roxas smiled. He had finished making the waffles and wanted to set off for his café, he only had about an hour to make it the café and to his first class and he _wanted_ hid coffee from there. Walking back into the small kitchen, Roxas began to wash the dirty dishes. He hardly noticed it when Demyx walked back into the kitchen, a giant grin plastered on his face as he started to dig into the waffles. Roxas chuckled when Demyx told him that he loved him, blushing slightly at the attention.

In about ten minutes he had cleaned up the dishes and had taken off his apron. "Glad you guys like the waffles. I gotta go though, especially if I want to get a cup of coffee before I head to my first class."

"Just make yourself a cup," Axel said, a confused look on his face. He was probably wondering why Roxas wanted to buy the coffee.

"Naw, I found this awesome café and I just can't get enough of the coffee there. I'll see you guys around," Roxas smiled, grabbing his white jacket that had a white and black checkerboard pattern running around the stitches that attached the arms to the jacket itself and across his chest and back in one line. He grabbed his messenger bag from off of the couch, waving bye to everyone.

His mind was racing with thoughts as he stepped outside of the apartment door, breathing heavily. He couldn't stop thinking about what he had done and the realization just hit him again and again. It was going to be so incredibly _hard_ to forget Will. His parents and friends had been easy…but Will was a whole different story.

He was…he was like a poison and Roxas didn't have the antidote.

--

Roxas didn't go home that night; instead he found his way into a park. An empty park with no one else around. It wasn't a children's park, more of a walk-your-dog-around park. He had flopped down on a bench, after spending three hours sitting in the café. It was now eight o'clock or somewhere around there and the sun had had almost set, it was just on the horizon.

He didn't feel like going home, at least not just yet, possibly not for a few days. Somehow he got the distinct feeling that they had started to talk about him the minute he had left the café. And they had probably discussed his odd behaviour and Naminé probably added that he had flinched last night when she had touched him.

Roxas had barely paid any attention in his classes, too worried about what his flatmates thought of him. He had been happy earlier, happy because he had thought that maybe he would be able to befriend them but now…Now they would probably think he was weird or something and not want anything to do with him.

Roxas felt his chest pang painfully and he raised a hand to softly touch the area above his heart. Cold fingers lay on the area for a few minutes watching the leaves on trees flutter in the wind. It made him want to sketch, the beauty of the park, but something told him he wasn't going to feel all that better afterward.

Sighing, Roxas slumped back into the bench, his bag lying at his feet with the strap held softly in his hands. Closing his eyes, Roxas wondered whether or not he should head home. He felt like painting something. The view from his balcony would cheer him up…yeah. Maybe he would go home, so Roxas forced himself up, slung his backpack over a shoulder and headed in the direction of his new home, the sinking feeling in his stomach settling nicely at the bottom. Roxas knew it was there to stay…for a while it seemed.

--

When Roxas shoved his key into the apartment door, he nearly fell forward as the door flung open with his key still inside and his hand still attached to the key. Eyes wide, Roxas fell into arms of someone who was standing in front of him. His body immediately lurched backwards and his head banged into the edge of the door.

He hissed at the pain, hand reaching up to the place where he had been hurt. _Fuck_, he thought, eyes screwing closed. His head throbbed for a few seconds before the pain lessen somewhat and Roxas managed to open his eyes. He found sparkling, clear blue ones looking at him with concern.

"You okay Roxy?" the owner of the eyes asked, staring at him.

"Yeah," Roxas managed to get out, slightly nervous at how close Demyx's face was to his own. He took a small step back and side-stepped to the right a bit.

"Where've you been?" Demyx asked, his voice soundly very commanding. Roxas blinked at the blond and for a second didn't know what to say. Why did he sound so…concerned? Didn't he think he was weird for flinching and tensing up whenever some touched him?

"I, I was at the café and then I sat in a park for a bit…" Roxas trailed, hands grasping the edge of his shirt in a way to comfort himself.

"Well, next time tell Nami or me, 'cause you scared us shitless. We couldn't even call your cell! I want your number right now!" Demyx demanded, shoving his own cell phone at Roxas. Roxas's eyes widened as he stared at the device and took it into his hands.

"Um, I, I'm sorry?" Roxas mumbled, still confused as to why Naminé and he had been so worried. It's not like he couldn't take care of himself…And, why did he care so much in the first place? He hardly knew the guy…But Demyx didn't answer any of those questions, just stood in front of him waiting for Roxas to punch in the number to his cell.

Roxas looked back down at the cell phone which was all blue themed. Blue wallpaper, blue cellphone, blue text. It was kind of creepy…But he ignored that aspect to it and went into the phone book on the phone. Punching in his name and number, Roxas smiled meekly and handed the phone back to Demyx after saving it on the phone's memory.

"Good boy," Demyx grinned, hand reaching out to ruffle his hair but he stopped it and quickly took it back, an apologetic look crossing his face, "Sorry."

"For what?" Roxas asked, surprised by the apology.

"For almost touching you," he answered, a guilty look on his pretty face. Roxas just stared at him. How, how did he know he didn't want to be touched? Yeah he had soft of flinched and stuff but…this quickly? Roxas felt relief washing over him. These people really respected his personnel space, eh?

"And sorry about this morning too. Nams said that you flinched when she had touched you too so it wasn't just because I was the one hugging you."

"No, no it's alright. It's not like you knew I was…I would flinch or tense up….It's okay. Thank-you for respecting that though," Roxas smiled, he felt the anxiety at the pit of his stomach sort of vanish.

"No problem Roxy!"Demyx grinned, and walked into the apartment. "Nami went over to her friend's apartment by the way. He waited for you until about seven and you didn't show so I told her she should go. I didn't want her to cancel, especially since she hardly ever goes out in the first place."

Roxas nodded his head, noticing that Demyx had a bowl with what looked like Kraft Dinner in it sitting on the coffee table with the TV on. "You didn't go out today?"

"Naw, I didn't feel like it. Besides, classes were tough today," he groaned, flopping down onto the couch. Roxas smiled softly at the boys antics before walking over to his room and dropping his bag and jacket inside it.

"You have anymore KD?" Roxas asked, looking at Demyx. The blond rose an eyebrow but then realized lit his face. "You can have what's left in the bowl. I'm not really hungry anymore…That is if you don't mind eating out of the same bowl as me…"

Roxas shook his head, "I don't mind." He then sank into the seat next to Demyx and grabbed the bowl. Demyx was watching some music channel, a show about some old singer on.

"Awesome," Demyx replied, slouching into the couch to make himself more comfortable.

That night Roxas and Demyx stayed up all night, talking about everything and anything. Roxas had never laughed so much and he had never heard a laugh quite as beautiful as Demyx's. In fact, he had never met anyone as kind as Demyx, or as understanding. Well maybe his Aunt Arielle, but did she count?

Somehow they didn't drift onto conversations about family which made Roxas all the more happy. They had talked about favourite colours and books, favourite bands (at which point Demyx had exploded saying he loved Roxas because he was the only other person he'd ever met who understood the awesomeness that was Cake.) and foods. They had gotten into a lengthy discussion about the word 'toward' and Roxas had felt so happy by the end that he'd promised Demyx that he'd make sugar cookies just for him tomorrow. Demyx had almost cried while thanking him.

It had just been one of the best nights. And when Roxas went to bed, Will never crossed his mind once.

--

**Author's Notes:** THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! (You all rock!) And those of you who favourited or alerted the fic, thanks but maybe, if you wouldn't mind, could your drop a review too? I'd appreciate it. And Darkest Soul of Sadness, you rock.

I really like this part...It's nice and friendly and it makes me giggle. That may not be the case for you but I really like Roxas and Demyx as friends...And I think Roxas is going to develop a crush on Demyx. Then his heart shall be broken and Axel shall come to the rescue. I just gave away vital plot information. SHAME ON ME.


	5. Those Lost Things: v Friends Like Dreams

**Author's Notes:** Dudes I'm behind on my NaNo count! This is saddening! D: I fail at life, yes I do. Utterly. But History KILLED me this week and like, I'm just glad I'm not dead.But here's he next part. It's sort of fluffy AxelRoxas-ness but nothing huge and nothing that indicates them liking one another. A big thanks to everyone who reviewed! I love you guys and those of you who put me on your alerts, thanks!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to _Kingdom Hearts_. It belongs to Square Enix and the Walt Disney Company. I'm simply trying to write 50 000 words for NaNo.

**-- **

**The Incident with the Blond**

_Those Lost Things_

in which we:

meet the blond – learn of guests – see the dancing – hear the laughter – dream of friends – find the first link in the chain – smile – watch rain – eat ice-cream

--

v. Friends Like Dreams

A few days had passed and university was actually turning out to be fun. Roxas had finished his Art History essay and Naminé had read it over. She had edited it and had told him it was excellent. Roxas had just blushed, thanking her.

Actually, the last few days and been wonderful, some of the best that Roxas had had before Will went psycho on him. Roxas had never, even while he was in middle school, met such wonderful people but Roxas suspected he only thought so because for four years he'd had no one and his old friends had sort of, kind of, betrayed him. All because of his school choice, which Roxas thought was the most ridiculous thing ever.

Naminé had probably become the closest to Roxas since she had a few classes with him and when Roxas had told her he wasn't straight Naminé had had the best reaction Roxas could have imagined. Maybe a bit of an unnerving one but a good one as far as Roxas could tell.

They had been sitting on the couch eating popcorn while watching a movie. Demyx had been dragged off by Axel, whom Roxas rather liked. Axel acted like a jerk sometimes but he was generally a nice and entirely amusing person. It was a chick flick, the movie and Roxas was positive that Naminé had figured him out because he hadn't protested to watching the thing.

The question had been entirely out of the blue and Roxas had almost choked on his popcorn. "Roxy, are you gay?"

Roxas's eyes widened and he felt the popcorn in his mouth begin to slide down the wrong tube. Spluttering, Roxas launched into a coughing fit so to keep the popcorn from killing him. Naminé had immediately started to pat his back, saying she was sorry and that she shouldn't have asked since it was a personnel question.

When Roxas finally stopped coughing, the popcorn safely lying on the ground covered in saliva, he leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes. "I am." He answered before he could keep the words in his mouth.

"Really?!" Naminé squealed and Roxas's eyes opened to find her face contorted into utter glee. Roxas arched a brow at her, confused as to why she looked so…happy.

"Yeah…but how did you…?" Roxas trailed, unsure whether he wanted to know how she knew he was gay.

The look on Naminé's face didn't alter and she was giggling as she answered Roxas. This freaked Roxas out, as Naminé had never quite giggled like a hyena before. Wait, that was a bad comparison. She'd never quite giggled like a fangirl before. Roxas knew vaguely about fangirls as there had been quite a few at his high school and they would giggle and laugh and swoon at characters in mangas and models in magazines. "I have a sixth sense for these things."

"A sixth sense…" Roxas repeated, perfectly sure that his uncertainty about the statement was clear in his voice.

"Uh-huh. I knew Demyx was gay before he did. Hell, I knew _Axel_ was bisexual before he knew. Of course Marluxia keeps giving me mixed signals but since it's him…I don't think it matters," she answered, the grin on her face lessening somewhat.

"…Nami, no offence but that's slightly creepy," Roxas replied, unable to hold back the small smile that was taking over his lips.

"I know. Zexion told me," Naminé laughed, "and he kept telling me after I told him he was gay too."

Roxas just stared at his friend, eyes blinking. He suddenly felt very afraid of Naminé, like she was a hyena…or worse a fangirl. Getting up Roxas bid her goodnight and scurried off to his room. Once he was lying flat on his back staring up at the ceiling still not in his pyjamas, Roxas let a wide grin break out over his face.

He hadn't been planning on telling anyone of his sexual preferences and now, it hardly mattered. Naminé was okay with it and Demyx and Axel were gay themselves.

--

Roxas had been unusually happy that morning, which should have been a sign that something extremely creepy was going to happen but lost in the happy feeling that was in his stomach Roxas hardly noticed.

He'd woken up, made Demyx, Namine and Axel breakfast and was about to head out the door to get his morning latte when the door to Demyx's room flew open and in the doorway stood a pink-haired guy.

Now, normally, Roxas wouldn't have been disturbed if someone randomly showed up at Demyx's house as a few guys and girls had in the month or so he'd been living with these guys. However, when he spotted the pink hair, the sharp blue eyes and the giant smirk on his lips only one word was coming to Roxas's mind. _Marluxia_.

When Demyx had told him a week or so ago about Marluxia, Roxas had simply brushed it off, thinking it obviously couldn't be the Marluxia from his middle school days. He had thought so because, well, the world had to have had _other _Marluxias. But it was. There was no mistaking it. The same pink hair that fell just past his shoulders, the spikes that waved out around him in layers, the startling blue eyes, the_ smirk_.

Roxas felt himself swallow as he noticed that the boy was in nothing but a pair of black slacks, chiselled chest bare for everyone to see. He could feel the blood rush to his face as his eyes were caught in Marluxia's.

"Finally woke up Marluxia?" Roxas heard Axel drawl, and Roxas could picture him with one elbow resting on the top of his chair and his foot brought to rest on the chair so it pushed against his chest.

The smirk on Marluxia's face widened, but his eyes were still locked with Roxas's and Roxas's feet _wouldn't_ move. "Marly, you have to stay away from Roxy. He's a good boy and you're…a perv, so stay away," Demyx said. He had probably clued into the staring competition Roxas was having with Marluxia, except that Roxas _wanted_ to lose but his eyes wouldn't let him.

He was feeling as uncomfortable as hell and was praying to God, hoping that Marluxia _didn't_ remember him. "But Demyx, I have every right to get close and comfy with _Roxas_. After all, I was his _first_ boyfriend."

Roxas heard the groan escape his lips and Marluxia's smirk turned into a grin. "And he still remembers me!" He squealed like a schoolgirl, running forward. Roxas readied himself for the invasion of personnel space and the physical contact.

"Your first _WHAT_!?" Roxas heard Axel scream, followed by Demyx shouting, "DON'T YOU _DARE_ TOUCH HIM!"

Of course Marluxia wasn't known to listen to anyone, let alone his friends and tackled Roxas to the ground. Roxas hit the floor with a thud and his head throbbed from the collision with the hardwood. His skin prickled and he felt his heart suddenly stop as his body tensed up. His lungs were refusing to take in the oxygen he was sending them so Roxas gasped for air, trying very hard not to be afraid of the physical contact.

"Get off of him Marluxia!" Axel growled and Roxas felt the weight lying on top of him being lifted off.

"Nooo! His hair was so soft and nice and fluffy!" Marluxia cried, arms clawing at Roxas's body on the floor.

"Didn't you fucking hear Demyx?" Axel snapped, yanking Marluxia by the hair to the couch. Demyx was hovering over Roxas. Roxas was staring wide-eyed upwards. He could breathe again and the scared feeling that usually lasted too long was already vanishing. Roxas took in a few breaths of air to calm himself, and opened up his closed eyes.

"You okay Roxas?" Demyx asked, kneeling before Roxas. Roxas nodded his head, probably looking dazed. "Sorry about Marluxia, he's just a fucking perv."

"I RESENT THAT! I am no perv! I am simply very forward in my sexual advances on others," Roxas heard Marluxia's voice holler from the other side of the room.

"Shut-up!" Axel retorted and a thud followed his words which were followed by a loud, "OW!"

Roxas couldn't help but smile. He hadn't even realised that he had grasped Demyx's hand so that the blond could help him get up.

"Isn't that same thing as a pervert?" Naminé asked, she sounded pretty amused but equally exasperated, as if they'd had this conversation before.

"Holy shit! Roxas is holding Demyx's hand!" Axel screamed, finger pointing at Roxas and Demyx. Roxs arched an eyebrow and then realised that he was in fact holding Demyx's hand. Blushing a bright red, Roxas tore his hand away.

"Oh my God, Roxy! You didn't flinch! I mean, you, you actually _asked_ for my help!" Demyx shouted, arms flailing around him.

Roxas wasn't sure what to say so he stared at his hand, then back at Demyx and then back to his hand. He repeated this process a few more few times, finally stopping when Marluxia's voice cut through the air. "What'd you mean he didn't flinch? Why would Roxas flinch?"

"Well ever since Roxas came here he avoids touching other people and this one time Demyx hugged him and he tensed up. Didn't you notice that he was tensing up underneath you when you tackled him?" Axel asked, smacking Marluxia upside the head.

"Owww," Marluxia cried, pouting. "But Roxy loves me, he wouldn't tense up. Right Roxy?"

Which was when, Roxas assumed, everyone remembered the earlier statement that Marluxia was Roxas's first boyfriend.

Everyone in the room spun around and started to throw questions at Roxas except for Marluxia who seemed offended that no one was paying any attention to him.

"You _dated_ Marluxia?!" That was Demyx.

"Roxas, were you fucking _high_ when you went out with this idiot?!" Axel.

"Does that mean Marly's gay!? Roxas, answer me!" Roxas found Naminé's question odd but pushed it aside along with the others.

"I, er…have to go!" Roxas yelled, running for the door. He swung it open and ran down the hallway as quick as he could. He heard his friends yelling behind him, loudest of all Malruxia, whom Roxas had hoped to never see again.

Not that Marluxia had been a bad first boyfriend, not at all. In fact he had made Roxas feel rather special. The problem was that Roxas's parents had passed away shortly after Marluxia had moved off of Destiny Island and had broken up with Roxas. He had been the one who had made Roxas realise that he was gay and all that lovely other crap. The thing was that Demyx and Axel were right. Marluxia _was_ a perv and Roxas remembered some of the things he'd done with him…Some of them made Roxas blush as red as a beet.

Panting for air as he realised that he was standing outside of his favourite café, Roxas walked inside, the aroma of freshly ground coffee beans filling his nose.

"Hey Roxas! You're late!" Sora smiled, giving Roxas a small pout.

"Sorry," Roxas apologized, eyes drifting to his feet.

"That's alright Roxas! I have your latte ready and waiting for you," Sora smiled.

"Thanks," Roxas smiled, pulling out his wallet to pay Sora. After he had, he walked over to his favourite table and flopped down on one the stools, rubbing his eyes. If he'd known the morning would have been _this_ hectic, Roxas wouldn't have gotten out of bed, especially since he didn't have classes today. Which was a problem as it meant he had to go back unless he _wanted_ to spend nine hours sitting in a café.

And Roxas knew that as much as he loved he café, he didn't want to do that.

--

The apartment loomed in front of him and Roxas still hadn't managed to take a step forward after having stood in front of it for approximately half an hour. Taking in the height of the building and the red brick walls for the fiftieth time, Roxas clutched at his bags strap. _Are they all still home?_

Of course there was only one way to find out but Roxas felt too nervous and scared to actually go through with that idea. He had though a few times to sneak upstairs like some sort of spy but he knew that his stealth skills were definitely lacking. Or non-existent. One of the two, he wasn't sure which though.

Sighing, Roxas looked down at his feet which didn't want to go forward. He didn't understand, when had his feet started to think for themselves? A soft wind blew and as if it was a signal from God or something, Roxas moved forward, a determined air settling around him. He had spent enough time wondering whether or not his friends and Marluxia would still be in the building when he reached it.

The shock of seeing Marluxia again had worn down a bit, and the flush that came to his cheeks whenever he thought about him had toned down. It was almost not there now, which was the way Roxas liked it. His feet padded to the elevator, stepped inside and he reached out to press the number eleven button. But just as the doors were about to close, a hand stopped the doors. The hand belonged to a boy, a very beautiful boy. Roxas blinked several times to make sure his eyes weren't seeing things.

As he stepped inside the elevator, the look of nonchalance on his face, sent shivers down Roxas's spine. It was as if the emotion had been made specifically for the boy. His blue-purple hair fell over his right eye, covering half of his face in the process. A starling dark blue eye glanced at him momentarily before turning away to stare at the elevator doors. Roxas had already noticed his pale complexion which stood out because of his hair and the black ensemble he was wearing. Tight jeans had never looked so good on _any_ boy Roxas knew and his high school had had a few emo kids. None of them had been able to pull it off like this guy. It was as if his legs were made to be put into skinny jeans.

A thought struck Roxas then, he'd seen nothing but beautiful people these last few days, each in their own way. It went without saying that Roxas felt that Marluxia was gorgeous but the rest of his friends…they were all so pretty. Demyx's eyes were gorgeous and his blond hair made him seem like an angel. Whereas Axel was just stunning with his emerald eyes and shock of red hair. Finally, Naminé. Roxas, in his entire life, had never liked a girl. They had always been _just_ friends. But Naminé, he wouldn't mind dating her.

The elevator doors open just as the blush reached his cheeks and he scolded himself for thinking about dating his friend. He didn't want to lose them, especially after he had promised himself not to be clingy if he ever got someone who wanted to be his friend again.

The boy stepped out of the elevator and Roxas followed suite, heading in the direction of his apartment. The boy was going in the same direction. Roxas pulled out his keys from his pocket, grasping them in his fingers. The cold metal felt good, it seemed to calm him down a bit. The boy suddenly stopped right in front of Roxas's apartment door. _Huh?_

He raised a hand and knocked and Roxas stood dumbly behind him wondering why the boy was knocking on his apartment door. "ROXAS?!" Someone screamed as the door was ripped open and there stood Demyx with an expression on his face that went from joy to worry all at once. His eyes dropped when he realised it wasn't Roxas but then lit up again as he noticed Roxas standing behind the boy.

"You're back! Axel he's back! Call Nami and tell her!" Demyx shouted, hurling past the boy and wrapping Roxas into his arms. Roxas, unable to comprehend why Demyx had become so excited to see him, stood in his arms feeling somewhat special and confused at the same time.

"Where did you go!?" Demyx shouted at him, pushing Roxas back so that he stood an arm's breadth away. Demyx had his hands pressed down on Roxas's shoulders. Suddenly his eyes widened and his hands shot off of Roxas's shoulders. "I'm so sorry Roxas! Oh God! Are you okay!? I'm so, so sorry! I was just and then and you, I'M SORRY!"

"Good to know you still care," the boy, whom Demyx had completely ignored, said rather dryly. He stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets which seriously made Roxas wonder how. Was there even room in those things?

"Oh…Zexion! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Roxas had run off this morning and I was worrying and I'm sorry! You know I love you Zexy! I do!" Demyx cried, twirling around to pull Zexion into a bear hug that, if Roxas guessed right, was probably not letting Zexion breath.

Roxas heard a small chuckle from the boy and as Zexion pushed Demyx off of him there was the faintest trace of a smile on his face. He didn't say anything but just turned and walked into the apartment. Axel was standing in the small hallway now looking relived. "He's alive! I told you he would be alive!"

"No, you just kicked Marluxia out saying that Roxas would _know_ that the perv was gone and would therefore return home. He's not Harry Potter you know!" Demyx retorted. They were still standing in the hallway and Roxas felt more than a little uncomfortable. Since Demyx didn't look like he had any plans on entering the apartment again, Roxas brushed past him into the apartment.

"He's back isn't he?" Axel scoffed.

"Not because he _knew_ Marluxia was gone, right Roxy?" Demyx countered.

Roxas chose to say nothing and smiled at Axel who was glaring at Demyx. "I can't believe you guys worried so much. You're such losers but thanks".

"First you call us losers and then you thank us? What kind of a person are you?" Axel asked, sounding offended.

"The kind how calls people losers and than thanks them," Roxas answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Zexion snickered from his spot on the couch and Demyx giggled. Roxas knew Axel was glaring.

"Why didn't you caaaallll us or pick up my phone calls to you?!" Demyx whined, sounding every bit like a five year old.

"You called me?" Roxas asked, hearing the surprise in his voice. Roxas reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Sure enough there on the screen of his phone were the words, _23 calls Missed. _"You called me _twenty-three_ times?!"

"No, no. I called you sixteen times. Marly three and Axel the rest," Demyx replied. Roxas just stared at him unable to comprehend Demyx's odd behaviour.

"But why'd you leave?" Axel demanded, fixing Roxas with a stern look.

"I, I guess I was just scared. I haven't seen Marluxia in a while so it was…starling," he answered, Marluxia's name coming out of his throat in a sort of croak. "Anyways! You haven't introduced me to Zexion yet!"

"Well, you already know his name. What else is left?" Axel replied, rather bluntly.

"…" Roxas had to stop himself from telling the red-head he was an idiot.

"Axel you're such a dumbass," Demyx laughed. "Zexy! This is Roxas!"

"I figured," Zexion replied. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," Roxas smiled, taking a seat on the loveseat by the television. Axel flopped down next to him and Demyx sat beside Zexion.

"So, what's with you letting Demyx touch you and not me?" Axel questioned giving Roxas a small glare. Roxas knew he would, at some point, have to address the fact that he wasn't twitching every time he came into contact with his friends. As Roxas could tell, it was probably because he was more comfortable with them and that he may trust them now. Of course not completely. Roxas had trouble trusting people completely. They kept hurting him.

"I never said you couldn't touch me, go ahead if you want" Roxas replied, realising afterward how odd the statement sounded. In fact it sounded slightly...dirty.

"Really now?" Axel smirked, arching an eyebrow at Roxas. "Well then, I think I might just have to." His smirked grew wider and he leaned down fixing Roxas's eyes with his own.

Roxas's eyes grew wide and he quickly spluttered out, "You can hug me! _Hug!_"

Axel laughed, genuinely amused. "Hear that Demyx, you're not that special anymore!" He leaned back giving Roxas a smile. "I wouldn't do anything else anyways."

For some reason Roxas felt insulted. What did he mean he wouldn't do anything else? Was Roxas not good enough? Then another question shot up in his brain. What the _hell_ was he thinking? Roxas had no idea so he just glared at Axel and hmphed turning his head so it faced the wall, rather than Axel.

"Yes, but he still loves me more, right Roxy?" Demyx chirped, sounding very sure of himself.

"Of course," Roxas replied wanting to tick Axel off. He didn't get anything but felt an arm wrap around his shoulders.

"Don't lie to yourself Blondie. Everyone loves me more than Demyx, ask Zexy!"

Zexion simply snorted, arms crossing over his chest. "Are we going to the concert Demyx?"

"…Well, Roxas just showed up and—" Roxas cut Demyx off, feeling guilty that he had kept Demyx From going to his concert.

"You can't miss your concert because of me!" Roxas shouted, sitting up straight in his seat.

"But you just—" Demyx began, but again Roxas cut him off. "Go to your concert! I bet you've been waiting for it for a long time! You can't skip it because of me."

Demyx looked somewhat upset so Roxas gave him a smile and Demyx's features softened and he smiled back. "Alright….you can hang out with Axel I suppose because he doesn't like the band we're going to see."

"They're a bunch of whiney emo brats," Axel growled, he sank back into his seat.

"_You're_ a whiny emo brat, so I don't see the point of your argument," Zexion retorted, giving Axel a disapproving look.

"I'm a punk, there's a difference bitch," Axel snarled, glaring at Zexion. Roxas thought he was over-reacting to the comment, insulting Zexion like that.

"Fuck off Axel," Demyx snapped, getting up off of the couch. Zexion followed suite, giving Axel a cold glare. "I'll see you tonight Roxy!"

"Yeah," Roxas smiled, feeling something flutter in the depths of his stomach. It was a pleasant feeling and Roxas couldn't help but feel happy. He gave Demyx a small wave as he left with Zexion. Axel sighed from behind him and Roxas turned around to look at him.

The red head had closed his eyes and had a hand placed to his forehead. "He's such a fucking jackass."

"Zexion?" Roxas asked, rather curious as to why Axel was behaving like this. He knew Axel was brass and zealous but Roxas liked to think he wasn't rude. Even though he was at times, along with being a bit too blunt. Roxas kept his gaze on the red-head, waiting for an answer to his question. He got a small nod. "Why?"

"He just is. I don't feel like talking about it," Axel replied, sounding somewhat agitated. Roxas kept his eyes on the boy for a few more minutes a silence befalling the Axel and him. Roxas finally looked away, and got up, heading for the kitchen.

"I'll make us some dinner," he told Axel as he opened the fridge looking inside. He wanted something simple today. Chicken and veggies sounded perfect.

"Thanks," Roxas heard Axel. He pulled out two carrots and some cauliflower.

"No problem," Roxas said as he placed the vegetables on the counter. He pulled out a frozen meat package from the freezer and then looked through one of the cupboards for a potato. When he glanced back to where Axel had been sitting, the boy wasn't there any more. Roxas's eyebrow rose, wondering where his friend had disappeared off to. He wanted to call out his name but didn't. Maybe Axel just needed a few minutes to himself. After all Axel was moody…at times.

Roxas sighed, grabbing his apron from a hook on the wall. He tied it around his waist and set to work. It would take, maybe, forty five minutes to get everything prepared. Roxas washed the vegetables and, peeling off the skin of the carrots afterward. He diced them up along and cut the cauliflower into small pieces. Roxas's favourite part with cooking was the cutting. He knew it was because he felt like he was in control when he was cutting things. The cooking itself, well that involved a few more variables but cutting, cutting was just Roxas moving his hand up and down, the knife going with him. He loved it.

Roxas felt an arm wrap around his waist and his mind immediately thought it was Will but when he felt someone rest their chin on his shoulder he calmed down. Will would always whisper his threats in Roxas's ears, he was never so nice. _It's just Axel_…Roxas thought, but now his mind was racing again. Why was Axel holding him in such an intimate way?

"I'm sorry for being so rude," Axel whispered, his voice barely reaching Roxas's ears. Roxas nodded his head, saying nothing. His voice seemed like it was lodged in his throat. He had stopped cutting when Axel had suddenly wrapped his arms around him but Roxas knew that if he didn't continue Axel would get angry that Roxas was tensing up. Axel would probably assume that it was because it was him. Roxas noted that Axel seemed somewhat jealous of Demyx at times. So he forced his hand to start cutting again, not minding the warmth that was coming from Axel's body.

The arms around his waist were lose, Axel's hair brushing against Roxas's cheek. It felt prickly, the spikes seeming to poke at his skin. But somehow it didn't hurt, the prickling didn't bother him. "You alright?" Roxas whispered. He had finished his cutting but he couldn't move because of Axel.

"Mmhmm," Axel responded, his hum sounding dreamy. Roxas wondered what was going through the red-heads mind. After a minute or so he spoke up again, "Do you need me to move?"

"That would be helpful," Roxas smiled softly, leaning his head into Axel's to show that he was there for him if he needed him. Roxas wanted Axel to feel better, seeing him act this way was slightly unsettling since Axel was always so excited about everything in his own sardonic way.

Axel squeezed his arms around Roxas, in what felt like a hug and let go. "Sorry."

"It's alright," Roxas smiled, "I'll probably finish in about thirty-five minutes so you should find something to occupy yourself."

"You didn't flinch…but you tensed up at the beginning. Did I startle you? Or was it because it was _me_," Axel asked; it was as if Roxas hadn't even said anything. Roxas blinked at him, unsure of how he should proceed.

"Well, it was a bit sudden but I knew it was you so I calmed down. I already told you Axel, I'm comfortable with hugs from you. You just came out of no where and hugged me, that's all," Roxas answered, making sure he was careful with what he said. He didn't want to upset Axel any further.

Axel stared at him, before walking out of the kitchen, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Roxas watched him step out onto the balcony. Fall had settled in, wasn't he cold? Especially since he was wearing a tattered up black t-shirt with skulls and splatters of purple and blue colours swirling up from the bottom and those tight red plaid bondage pants definitely weren't going to keep the cold out.

He wanted to follow Axel but would feel bad if he didn't make dinner. And where was Naminé? Had she gone to go find him or something? Maybe she went to one of her friend's places since it was a Friday and they didn't have any classes. Demyx had told Axel to call her…Roxas wondered of Axel had. Probably, since Axel was efficient like that.

He was an odd character, that was for sure but he reminded Roxas of his friend Hayner somewhat. They had been best friends until the split. Roxas's heart felt heavy as a picture of Hayner popped up in his mind. He had been a good friend, even though he had been the one to be most angry to see Roxas doing well in school. But he had been by Roxas's side after his parents had died. In fact Hayner had stayed up a number of nights, trying to get Roxas to stop crying. For that Roxas would always love Hayner. Always. And possibly even forgive him.

That's what Axel was like. The kind of guy who would try to cheer you up when you were feeling down, even though he liked to act tough, as if he was invincible. Roxas liked that about Axel. The fact that Axel thought himself invincible. Roxas wanted to feel like that sometimes. To feel as if nothing in the world could take him down. But he knew it wasn't going to happen. Roxas had spent months trying to accept that his parents were gone and when his friends had left him afterward he had cried while hiding in the bathroom stalls at school. Home had already become another story.

Roxas didn't want to sound like everything in his life was awful and horrible. It wasn't. Marluxia had been nice and discovering his talent for sketching and painting had been brilliant and meeting Demyx, Naminé and Axel were definitely more than he could have asked for. Life was turning around and Roxas hoped to keep it that way. He didn't want to mope around.

Actually, he had only stopped trying to kill himself after grade eleven when he had gotten drunk after Will had beaten him up pretty badly. He had had to hide a limp in leg for weeks from his Aunt. That had been the last time he had drunk, because someone had stopped him. Almost like they had rescued him. Roxas still couldn't remember what had happened or exactly or who had stopped him but he hadn't jumped off the bridge.

And Roxas had never resorted to cutting himself, like some of the kids at his school. He thought it pointless, especially since Will had been doing enough of that. Roxas wanted to be strong. Like Hayner, like Axel, like Demyx…

His thoughts wandered to the blond boy and Roxas was sure that in his entire life he hadn't met someone so beautiful. Inside and out. Demyx had played guitar for him once and Roxas had been overwhelmed, much like when he had watched Axel dancing. And when Demyx sang, damn, it sent shivers down your spine and you wanted to listen to him forever and ever. He was so talented and nice, always trying to make Roxas feel as comfortable as possible, always worrying over Roxas when Roxas decided to come home an hour later and always telling him how amazing his culinary skills were. The pleasant sensation he had had earlier fluttered in his stomach a second time, stronger this time and a smile made it's way onto Roxas's face.

"Is dinner ready?" Axel called, breaking Roxas out of his inner discussion with himself. Roxas smiled as he set the food on the table. "Yeah, come and get it!" Axel walked inside, closing the door to the balcony behind him. A cold whiff of air came on contact with Roxas and he shivered involuntarily. Axel sat down in his seat smiling down at his plate. "Looks good."

"Thanks," Roxas said, sitting himself down beside Axel. He brought his fork down on the cauliflower and glanced at Axel who was spooning up the mashed potatoes. He looked happier. Maybe it was the dinner. Maybe it was the alone time had gotten. Either way, Roxas was happy.

"You feeling better?" Roxas asked, voicing his thoughts.

"Yeah, thanks to you," Axel answered, giving Roxas a smile.

Roxas raised an eyebrow, displaying a confused expression, "How?"

"By just being here."

"Well…um…Glad you feel better," Roxas spluttered, still confused but feeling a small blush come to his cheeks. _By just being here._ The words rang in Roxas's mind and he still felt confused as to how that helped but was glad it had.

The rest of dinner passed by quietly until Axel suddenly sprang up from his seat at the dinner table and yelped, "_We_ should go do something. It's Friday, and we're both devilishly handsome boys with raging hormones, we should go out. Party!"

"Er…I need to wash the dishes?" Roxas knew it was just an excuse. He didn't want to go partying since he wasn't exactly okay with _everyone_ being in his personnel space. That was still uncomfortable and made Roxas jumpy. His mind kept thinking that Will would show up any minute in the crowd and smirk at him, telling him that Roxas owed Will a _special_ night. Roxas shivered, his eyes closing.

"You don't want to get in close contact with anyone right?" Axel whispered after a short silence had settled in the room.

Roxas simply nodded his head, eyes opening. "I'm sorry…But you should go. Ask Marluxia to go with you."

"Nah, I'll stay with you, help you wash those dishes," Axel smiled, ruffling Roxas's hair as he picked up his plate and Roxas's plate to take to the sink. Roxas shot out of his chair. "I can do the dishes myself! It's okay! You go, don't stay behind for me."

"I don't feel like going anymore," Axel replied, turning on the tap. He rinsed the dishes under the water and began to apply soap. Roxas took the soapy dishes from Axel, rinsed off the soap and dried. He felt bad. He knew it was ridiculous but he did. He shouldn't be holding everyone back. Demyx had almost stayed behind for him too.

"Sorry…"

"For what?"

"For holding you back from having a good time."

Axel just laughed, giving Roxas a grin, an amused twinkle in his eyes. "Roxas, be a bit selfish for once. You're allowed to do that you know. I do it all the time."

"Ah…well…" Roxas didn't know what to say so he looked down at his hands, still under the warm water. He finished with the last dish and placed it back where it was supposed to go. Placing the drying rag on the oven's handle, Roxas looked back up at Axel who was giving him, what looked like a thoughtful look.

"You're such a good little boy," Axel smiled, his eyes soft and caring.

"Thanks?" Roxas replied, not sure if it was a compliment but the look on Axel's face didn't really suggest it to be anything else.

Axel leaned forward and gave Roxas a small kiss on the forehead. Roxas felt his cheeks burn red. "What, what was that for?"

"I'm not sure…I just felt like doing it," Axel's voice sounded like it was somewhere far away. After a few seconds he added, "You remind me of someone."

"Who?" Roxas thought it strange that he reminded Axel of someone when Axel himself reminded Roxas of Hayner.

"An old friend of mine, rather an old friend I had once had," Axel whispered, his voice sounding sadder. Roxas felt concerned, Axel seemed like he was settling into his previous upset mood.

"You okay?" Roxas said, hand reaching out to Axel's cheek. He tilted his head to the side, eyes fixed on Axel.

"Yeah," Axel said immediately, his voice an octave higher than it had been before. He seemed to have snapped out of his daze.

"Are you sure?" Roxas asked, taking his hand away from Axel's cheek.

"Of course! Now come on, let's watch something on television. I can tell you some of Demyx's most embarrassing moments!" He had gone completely back to his usual self. Roxas decided that Axel was the oddest of his new friends, as his moods swung from one to another relatively quickly. But Roxas got the feeling he was hiding something. Something a lot like what Roxas was keeping away from them.

People love to keep things from one another, eh? _But then again_, Roxas thought, _it's hard to tell anyone about the painful things in life_.

Roxas walked over to the couch and flopped down next to Axel, eyes settling on the screen. They ended up staying awake, bashing whoever they could in whatever they were watching, until Demyx returned home with Zexion in tow. Apparently the boy hadn't wanted to come but Demyx had dragged him back. Roxas had glanced at Axel almost immediately but if Axel was angry at seeing Zexion, he didn't show it.

Demyx and Zexion had joined them but Demyx had demanded they watch a movie and so had popped in _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_, which really seemed like a Demyx kind of movie. The movie didn't end until three in the morning, and when Roxas bid everyone goodnight, Axel ruffled his hair saying thank-you again. Demyx had given Roxas a strange look but Roxas chose to ignore it.

He walked into his room, changed into an oversized shirt and shorts and dreamt of a certain blond. When he would wake up the next morning, a revelation would hit him.

--

**Author's Notes: **DON'T YOU GUYS JUST LOVE MARLUXIA?! I fucking do. I could like eat him. And Naminé is just made of awesome. She has gay guy detecting powers. They're the best kind there are.

Review pleeaassee! I'll let you have your way with Riku if you do. :D (Him because he is insignificant to my plot line and therefore can hate me for making him my review attaining slave boy without me feeling guilty. Aren't I a genius?)


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